New Brunswick creates ‘rainbow highway’

Fredericton — The government of New Brunswick is going out of its way to affirm its support for rainbow crosswalks, and some might argue they are now bordering on overcompensation.

In March, Transportation and Infrastructure Minister Bill Fraser sent letters to 13 municipalities stating that according to the Transportation Association of Canada, all crosswalks should be painted white.

But on Tuesday, he issued a clarification stating that rainbow crosswalks are absolutely allowed in New Brunswick. He said the decision to have one was up to each municipality to decide.

Now, the provincial government has upped the ante even further by rainbow-painting the entire 130-kilometre stretch of four-lane highway between St. Stephen and Saint John.

The usually calm and collected minister seemed very agitated by the apparent gaffe. “Nobody — and I mean nobody — supports rainbow crosswalks more than us!” shouted Fraser, pointing his finger for no apparent reason. “Does anyone else have an entire frickin’ rainbow highway? I don’t think so! That’s how much we support them! Case closed!”

While everyone universally agreed the symbolic gesture of support for LGBTQ2 rights is laudable, the rainbow roadway itself is getting mixed reviews.

“I totally support LGBT rights and Pride Month — actually my son is gay — but the new paint is pretty distracting,” said David Cielarc. “I was heading to St. Stephen yesterday and it was hard to see the lines on the road. The traffic seemed pretty confused. And, by the time I got there I had a really painful migraine.”

Fraser completely rejected any criticism of the new paint job. “Come on, the migraines have nothing to do with the paint! Everyone feels that way about having to go to St. Stephen!”