New Brunswick — The province of New Brunswick will be a little smaller tomorrow when jurisdiction of the contentious Edmundston health zone, zone 4, will be given to the province of Quebec.
Since the vast majority of active COVID-19 cases in New Brunswick are in zone 4, the province will have a drastically lower active case count once the change takes place.
The Atlantic provinces have agreed that this move would significantly impact their decision to form an Atlantic Bubble and have reinstated April 19 as the date to form the Atlantic Bubble.
Premier Higgs spoke at the announcement earlier today.
“Cutting out a chunk of the province wasn’t a decision we took lightly. At the end of the day, we knew that it was necessary in order for the rest of us to finally take some time to get away from this disgusting ugly wasteland…er…gorgeous province that we all love.”
When asked how the citizens of Edmundston took the news, the premier responded, “Who cares? If they wanted to have a say then maybe they should have worn masks and limited their contacts like the rest of us!”
The move was overwhelmingly applauded by the rest of the province who support a finger-wagging approach to COVID-19 cases within the province rather than showing empathy or unity.
Janet Dawson of Moncton voiced her support.
“We’re not losing anything by getting rid of that zone. What would I do up there? Visit the world’s largest clear-cut forest? But with them gone I can drive to Halifax and pretend I’m cultured by shopping at their small boutique stores.”
Even some residents of zone 4 seemed to have warmed up to the idea of changing provinces.
“At first I was insulted that New Brunswick would cut us out so quickly, but now that we’re part of Quebec we can do so much more! Who wants to drive a full day to go to the Champlain Mall when you can get to everything Montreal has to offer in roughly the same amount of time? I’m embarrassed we didn’t think of this ourselves!”
In preparation for the change, the province has issued temporary Quebec licence plates to all zone 4 residents so that they can be properly plate-shamed in the rest of the province as soon as the change takes effect.