Saint John — Artificial intelligence engine ChatGPT has recently amazed the planet with its superhuman lifelike intelligence, and now its owners have begun to roll out new regional versions.
This morning its owners, OpenAI, made the New Brunswick version of ChatGPT available to the general public.
This hyper-localized edition of the AI has specialized algorithms for New Brunswick residents, including what may become its most popular feature — choosing the right weed for you at Cannibas NB.
“We didn’t come up with this ourselves,” said CEO Sam Altman. “This was the most common request from New Brunswickers, just slightly edging out ‘Can you do my homework for me?’ and ‘Do you know who my father is?’
“The New Brunswick ChatGPT will compare thousands of data points to choose the best weed for you. For example, what’s the likelihood that your friends will try to bogart your joint, what kind of snacks do you have, will you smoke it in your car or shed, and are you still kind of high already?”
Other algorithms developed especially for New Brunswickers include:
- “What other beer besides Alpine will run my lawnmower?”
- “Does the cashier at the Tim Hortons like me or she just being nice?”
- “How big does my tinfoil hat need to be to block the French 5G signals?” (People’s Alliance members only)
- “If smoking while pregnant (like my mom did) makes babies underweight, why am I so ‘husky’ now?”
- “When I pee in the water at Magic Mountain, can people tell?”
- “Why won’t my girlfriend go ice-fishing with me?”
- “Does marijuana cause memory problems?”
- “Does marijuana cause memory problems? Did I ask that already?”
- “For the love of God, please help me win the moose draw before I die!”
- “I mean, like…what are some good things about diabetes?”