New Brunswick — The Council of Atlantic Premiers has officially called our bluff. As of July 3, New Brunswickers will be allowed to travel within the four Atlantic provinces — but now we don’t wanna!
“I kept telling everyone I would have travelled, gone on an exotic P.E.I. vacation this summer, but now that I can, the idea has lost its appeal,” said Frederictonian Greg Keller. “If I’m being honest, I was glad we were on lockdown so I could pretend I had grand plans that were cancelled against my will.
“The thought of spending four hours driving to P.E.I. is exhausting. I can’t imagine actually doing it.”
Monctonian Hannah Peterson had the same gripe.
“I was this close to being able to skip my cousin’s wedding in Dartmouth next month. I sent my regrets and best wishes. Now I have to attend?! This is so unfair!
“I was really getting used to the idea of never having to leave New Brunswick again and just blaming coronavirus — now the government springs this on us!”
Oromocto resident Jordan LeBlanc said it’s not that he’s lazy, he just doesn’t want to do anything.
“I’m a homebody. On the weekends I like to just stay in and watch TV, order pizza, maybe have some beer. I know we’re allowed to go to Newfoundland or Nova Scotia or whatever, but there’s still no reason to get out of town. Waste of money if you ask me.”
Many New Brunswickers are so lazy that they’re pretending they did not see the announcement about the Atlantic Bubble.
“We already told the kids months ago that we can’t go to Cavendish because of COVID,” said exasperated mother of three Janice O’Riley. “I can’t pretend to care about Anne with an E or spend $100 at Ripley’s Believe It or Not. We just got the red sand out of the car from last year’s trip and I’m not about to dirty it up again.
“So we’re going to do the smart thing and act like we didn’t hear the ‘good’ news about the bubble.”