New Maryland — It’s the end of an era in the Miller household when, after the second leaky carton in a row, Paul Miller has decided to start buying Baxter’s 2% milk instead of Northumberland. “I really don’t feel good about it,” the father of two told reporters. “But there’s milk all over my fridge. It dripped down into the crisper and everything. We can’t live like this.”
At press time the Miller family’s refrigerator contained a bag of carrots contaminated with errant milk, a wholesale pack of individual yogurt containers whose cardboard exterior was so soaked in milk that it was nearly unrecognizable, and countless other affected foodstuffs, all damaged after the latest Northumberland 2L carton rained down its contents on the shelves below. With this incident, Miller’s need for a sanitary refrigerator has trumped his desire to support New Brunswick farmers — but he remains conflicted on the matter. “Where does Baxter’s even come from? They won’t tell you that,” he added.
Blasphemy!