Saint John — There’s an old proverb that says God protects fools and children. In the case of a couple of teens from Saint John, it appears to be two out of two.
A teenage daring duo of have uploaded a video of them driving down Route 1 toward Saint John operating a motor vehicle in a very dangerous fashion. This video is coming to light on the heels of another infamous video of two southern New Brunswick teens climbing a power transmission tower outside of Saint John. Now, police are investigating a new pair of teenage copycats who appear to be alive literally by dumb-ass luck.
The newest online video depicts two young men driving at speeds in excess of 135 kilometres per hour near Lepreau heading eastbound toward Saint John. While one teen controls the acceleration, the other appears to be steering the vehicle using only his intergluteal cleft — more commonly known as the “butt crack.”
The teens did not conceal their identities in order to get “likes” from friends on social media. Eighteen-year-old Stephen Branton and 15-year-old James Graham admitted to performing the stunt, despite knowing they may face legal consequences.
“I know we are totally getting arrested,” Branton said. “I’m not going to lie though — we really did want to get recognition for it. However, we seem to be only gaining praise from morons and dumbasses.
“Once we saw that no one was impressed with us, and that our friends were only talking about how to eulogize us at our funerals, we decided to stop. We are all done driving. Officially quit.”
“Plus, you really have to get it up in there to control the vehicle,” admitted Graham. “It’s really uncomfortable. It’s just not worth it.”
Both teens, who were driving a car belonging to one of their parents, have been grounded and directed to disinfect every inch of the vehicle with special focus being paid to the steering wheel.
Artist’s depiction of Branton and Graham’s risky driving stunt.