Saint John — The year is nearing its end, and Jason Marley of Saint John, N.B. claims he hasn’t worked a single day of 2017 because it’s Moosehead Breweries’ 150th anniversary, and it “wouldn’t be right to work.”
“It’s a respect thing,” Marley stated, sitting on the couch in his Princess Street apartment. “It’s like how stores shouldn’t put Christmas decorations up till after Remembrance Day, or how school kids stand at attention for ‘O Canada,’ or how you should observe a moment of silence to honour someone who’s died.
“This is no different,” he concluded, cracking a Moose Pale. “Moosehead’s been around for 150 years — can you believe that?! That’s almost, like, four times as long as I’ve been around! — and I want to show them the reverence they deserve by sitting here for 365 days and just, you know…thinking about it all. Just sorta taking it all in.”
Anyone who knows Marley, however, has a different take on the situation.
“The guy has been unemployed for, like, a decade, not just this year,” said his best friend Jake Winslow. “Now he’s telling himself it’s in honour of his favourite beer? Gimme a break. He’d be doing the same thing no matter what.”
“What’s this ‘work’ he’s supposedly taking a break from?” puzzled Marley’s neighbour, Kelly Roiland. “I’ve never seen him do anything, and I’ve known him since high school. Whatever helps him sleep at night, I guess.”
Marley also compared his grand gesture to fasting for Ramadan, an analogy that has offended pretty much everyone he’s told.
“I’m abstaining from work just like religious people abstain from food to observe their holiday or whatever,” he said, opening a can of Moosehead Anniversary Ale. “‘Cept my religion’s Moosehead.”