Moncton — Monday morning, after the last hot rod drove off of Main Street following the Atlantic Nationals Automotive Extravaganza, motorists began setting up a second car show with a more localized flair along the same venue.
The attraction? A suite of 2002 Honda Civics belonging to Moncton’s renowned automobile connoisseurs.
The event itself was thrown together in just a couple hours by 34-year-old Russell Lively, a self-described “car lover,” who has driven his own Civic since inheriting it from his parents back in 2011.
“We Civic drivers — ‘Civaddicts,’ we call ourselves — are a tight-knit group,” he told The Manatee. “All it took was one phone call and we had the whole squad here.”
As the event began, more than two dozen 2002 Honda Civics were parked alongside the street (which is about four more than usual). The owners had them positioned to display their various custom modifications, including neon green rims and obscene “art” decals.
“This,” said Lively, pointing to the various stickers on the back window of his car, “this is Calvin pissing on the Toronto Maple Leafs logo while Rick and Morty watch, jacking off onto SpongeBob SquarePants, who is flashing the Wu-Tang sign. Cute, huh?”
Below this gaudy display was the tagline, “My other car is also a 2002 Honda Civic.”
A few hours into the pathetic display, it was abundantly clear that there was little interest from the public to look at the affordable compact vehicles, calling into question why such a poorly conceived event was put together in the first place.
“Oh, I dunno, I, uh…” Lively equivocated. “I guess the main reason we were looking to do this was to–”
All of a sudden, behind him a string of loud bangs could be heard as the cars were enveloped in ballooning balls of orange flame.
Pedestrians gathered around the smoldering vehicles, watching as the fire melted into a steady stream of black smoke, which rose in great puffs into the sky.
“Gosh,” said Lively, failing to conceal the grin on his face. “What are the chances?…Just days after we had all taken out ‘classic car’ insurance!”