I don’t want a lot for Christmas,But there’s a bunch of stuff I need,First I need 100 litres of any grade of gasoline,I need to find a turkey too —One that won’t have avian flu,Make my wish come true…Pay off my credit card for me too!Yeah!
I don’t want a lot for ChristmasBut there’s a bunch of stuff I need (and I)Just want it to please stop burning whenever I try to pee,I can’t find a family doctor who can take a look at me,But I’ve been on a waiting list for at least a year or three,
I would sell whatever I ownSo I could pee without the groans,Make my wish come true! I have a cup I’ve already peed into!Into, baby!
And I don’t want to be sick at Christmas —No flu, COVID or RSV…Don’t want virulent viruses that are respiratory!
But I won’t wear an effin’ mask so don’t you even friggin’ ask!Against my freedoms I think it’s a personal attack!
‘Cause it’s my right to breathe the air,If you get sick, I do not care.What more can I do?But if I get sick — that’s all on you! On you, baby!
Oh-oh, all the lights are shut off — all shut off everywhere (all shut off, baby)
Because January’s power bill I cannot bear (oh, oh, yeah)And if everyone is chilly (oh, yeah)Go put on a sweater silly!
Santa, won’t you bring me some free kilowatts please? (Yeah, oh)Or at least a new phone battery?
Oh, I don’t want a lot for Christmas, This is all I’m asking for — I just need Amazon delivering to my front door.
Oh, or maybe Greco from Door Dash,
They take debit, you don’t need cash!
And make my wish come true —
Help me remove that ill-advised tattoo…
Ill-advised, baby!
Oh and a two-four of Labatt’s Blue, baby…And maybe an Xbox Series X too, baby…Maybe a new four-wheel side-by-side too, baby…
And repay my CERB for me too, baby…
Can we get that rent cap back for me too? Baby…
Could you shovel out my driveway too? Baby?