Have a grievance you need to air, or a complaint you’d like to lodge? Has a story offended your sensibilities despite your usual sense of humour?
Do you think The Manatee isn’t funny at all, and the writers should get real jobs? Do you wish you could unfollow us on Facebook, but you aren’t sure how?
Please address all complaints to our Chief Experience Officer, Mittens, at email@example.com.
Mittens will listen, understand, empathize, and attempt to resolve any and all problems you may have encountered while reading The Manatee. If you don’t hear back about your problem within 6-8 weeks, it’s simply because Mittens has paws and cannot type or use a pen.
We don’t care, but Mittens does.