Most recent posting:
Personal Assistant/Bodyguard to the Premier
Are you a go-getter? Fiercely loyal? Would you put your life on the line for queen and country (or premier and province)? The office of the premier is looking for qualified candidates who would be willing to devote their entire existence to keeping Brian Gallant content, well-fed and most importantly, safe. Our Benevolent Leader has been so busy with politics that he hasn’t had time to hit the gym and stay up-to-date with his yellow belt in Tae-Kwon-Do. As Assistant/Bodyguard, your responsibilities would include identifying potential threats and acting quickly and efficiently to suppress them, as well as fetching coffee and testing it for poison. Applicants will be asked to complete a physical examination and must pass an extreme-duress test, where they will be subjected to the harsh New Brunswick elements and hordes of angry welfare recipients clamoring to get to your leader. Sound like you? Send a list of your credentials (including medals in judo, krav maga, ninjutsu, certificates of completion in bomb disarmament and heavy weaponry use) and references of at least 3 people whose lives you have saved to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Social Media Content Aggregation Guru
Do you live to tweet, post, blog, and vine? We at Syntax Marketing Solutions Inc. are looking for YOU! Based wherever content ninjas like you can be found, we aggregate media solutions for brand-centric corporate clients from around the globe. Our open-concept offices boast an all-you-can-drink beer fountain and our in-house style wizards will ensure your look never falls behind the most current trends. What will you be doing? Formulating strategic social media initiatives for savvy business leaders in the modern era. You’ll be working with energetic emperors of e-commerce, leading a group of leaders into the 22nd century. Think you’ve got what it takes to thrive in our super-cool and urban marketing and development environment? Please send your resumé, cover letter, and video audition to email@example.com and our Talent Team will find you!