Fredericton — After recognizing the futility of trying to get drug dealers out of high schools, Cannabis NB is piloting a new approach.
As of December of this year, Cannabis NB will set up mobile shops in front of area high schools in order to get a cut of the action.
“Since they are going to be stoned anyway, we’ll make it easier for kids to get stoned without having to miss class to stock up,” said Cannabis NB spokesperson Mary Janes.
“If we can’t get drug dealers out of high schools, we can at least take a cut of their profits. After all, the demand is high.”
NB Liquor spokesperson Tom Collins said, “We are doing marketing surveys to see if kids prefer being drunk or being stoned at school, but we’ll do our best to not have them miss any classes to do so.”
I want to thank Premier Higgs for this cushy appointment just for being a traitor to my party, said Public Safety Minister Kris Austin. Now I would like to simply say some shit that’s just common sense, but that, in some small way, will justify my being overpaid. It’s great work if you can get it, he added.