Saint John — Police were called to a West end home in the city this afternoon when an altercation between a public official, a former cabinet minister, and a foreign contractor became a bit boisterous. Neighbours called 9-1-1 after the parties involved took their argument to the street.
According to the contractor, who hails from Paris, the incident began between he and Languages Commissioner Katherine d’Entremont over the bloodlines of their dogs. “It was the strangest thing,” the contractor explained. “She hired me to build a set of French doors that were accessible for her French poodle. Things were going great. She even gave me a cup of French-vanilla espresso, a delicious French pastry and some French fries on my lunch break. But when I talked about my dog, she totally lost it.”
The languages commissioner reportedly came unglued when she learned that the contractor’s dog was an English Bull Mastiff. She even went so far as to throw his tools onto the street and ordered him off of the property.
“I mean, I don’t get it,” the contractor continued. “I told her it was no big deal. It was just a name. I even went so far as to call him a Toro Mastiff Anglais, but she wouldn’t hear of it. She said I was a traitor and would have my work visa revoked.”
As the incident continued on the sidewalk, former health minister Mike Murphy, who was out jogging, became involved in the fray. Murphy, who in recent years has returned to his law practice, heard the yelling and upon seeing the contractor’s vehicle, was hoping that an industrial accident may have occurred. As it became clear no lawsuit was available, he offered to help the two mend their differences over coffee and English muffins at the local Tims. “Big mistake,” Murphy was heard uttering. “I might as well have offered her a ride on an English school bus.”
Murphy managed to sprint off before responding officers could pick him up for questioning. Police said the personal-injury lawyer, who began competing in marathons after he once chased an ambulance for 27 kilometres on foot without stopping, is not a flight risk. They expect to detain him when he visits the city hospitals to go over their admissions logs, which he does on a regular basis.
As for d’Entremont and the contractor, charges are expected to be filed against them, but only once those charges have been transcribed in both official languages. Originally, this story was published under the impression that d’Entremont was not speaking to the media, but her lawyer assured us she will be available for an interview once we change the name of our publication from ‘The Manatee’ to ‘Lamantin.’