Minto — Last week, distraught parents in the area learned that, due to a teacher shortage, Minto Elementary Middle School would no longer be offering the French immersion program for Grades 1 and 2.
Students were left with the choices of forgoing French, or busing to a nearby Fredericton or Oromocto school to continue in immersion.
Just in the nick of time, Anglophone West Superintendent David McTimoney has found a solution, he announced at a press conference Friday morning.
“The important thing is that children receive education in a second language — French or otherwise,” he said. “I did some digging, and found Adelheid Aschenbrener, an elderly resident of Minto, who said she would be more than willing to step in and teach these young students her native tongue.”
A CBC reporter asked whether Aschenbrener has any formal training in education.
“No, not exactly,” McTimoney said, “but she raised eight children of her own, and they’re all fluent in German, so I would think she has some idea what she’s doing.”
Parents in attendance were skeptical of the sudden switch.
“No offense, but how will German be of use here in New Brunswick? I don’t even know any German people!” exclaimed Duane Demerchant, father of two children entering grades 1 and 2. “The whole point of the immersion program is so that my kids can get a job in this godforsaken province — how will German help that?”
“I know it’s not perfect,” said McTimoney, “but learning German can actually open up a lot of opportunities you may not have considered, such as staffing a German bakery, working with the Transportation department to design more efficient highways, or even making sausages or brewing beer.”
Another parent, Sara Moorehouse, brought up the issue of communication. “Does this old lady even speak English?”
“…well…no,” said McTimoney. “but that just means she won’t waste class time on small talk. She’ll get right down to the lessons.”
To ensure children are fully immersed in the culture, school officials are asking Minto parents to purchase lederhosen for the students to wear, and to pack their lunches with authentic German dishes such as schnitzel or bratwurst.