St. Stephen — The next time you’re attacked in your own home, you may want to think twice about defending yourself. Just like American “zero-tolerance” schools, New Brunswick RCMP and Crown prosecutors are cracking down on homeowners who fend off violent home invaders in an attempt to stem vigilante justice.
“When confronted by armed strangers in your house at 3 a.m., you may be tempted to protect yourself,” Sgt. Clifford Hughes told reporters at an early morning press conference. “Do not engage with them. We are telling all New Brunswickers that they must remain passive while being stabbed, beaten and robbed of their prized possessions. Remember, a trip to the hospital is much better than a trip to jail.”
Recent events near St. Stephen have resulted in provincial changes to federal castle law self-defence provisions. “Senior citizen Michael Woodard, who lives in a rural area 40 minutes from police, shot at 2 armed intruders and now he faces up to 10 years in jail,” Hughes said. “This individual was not aware that he is not allowed to defend himself or his property. Unfortunately for him, ignorance is no excuse for breaking the law.”
Although citizens faced with acts of violence and theft should do absolutely nothing to protect themselves, they can take heart knowing that the violent criminals will eventually be caught. “Right now, we have a solve rate near 40 percent,” Hughes said. “That means, as you’re tending to your wounds or filing insurance claims, you can rest easy knowing there is an almost 1 in 2 chance your assailant will be prosecuted.”
With that impressive solve rate, which ranks them 6th in Canada, New Brunswick RCMP aren’t resting on their laurels. In an effort to further improve their statistics, local RCMP detachments will continue to arrest individuals who defend themselves in their own home and charge them with various assault and weapons offences.
RCMP efficiency experts estimate that if they arrest every person who defends themselves, including vigilante homeowners, those attacked by muggers, and active-duty military personnel, their solve rate would increase to about 80 percent. “New Brunswick will not only be the Picture Province, it will be, from a statistical standpoint, the safest place to live in Canada,” Hughes said.
“We are taking a ‘safety first’ approach,” Hughes added. “By putting a dangerous self-defender away for 10 years, we are making the streets less perilous for those individuals who accidentally enter strangers’ homes in the middle of the night with weapons and leave with the homeowners’ belongings.”
If the RCMP think that this is going to happen iin my house then they are fucking idiots!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!
It sounds like the New Brunswick police and crown prosecutors are on drugs. It is hard to believe that Provincial policy over rules federal law. The tax payers of New Brunswick need to take control of their elected people and have a heart to heart talk.
I hope you realize everything g on this site it total bullshit.
Actually, it’s almost not all bull. Michael Woodard is being charged with reckless use and discharge of a firearm for protecting himself from a home invasion from three people, one with a weapon. http://en.video.canoe.tv/archive/source/news/michael-woodards-injustice/4003380218001/page/4
The simple solution ….. Do NOT call 911 , Ralph Klien had it right “shoot shovel and shut up”
No chance … the only time I will not protect my home family is when I am dead… even then I will come back and haunt someone…
Charter of rights and freedoms and everyone’s basic right to self defence and preservation of life can not be over ruled by a province. Of course you can not use excessive force once the intruder has been neutralized.
THAT is one of the Most Asinine things I’ve EVER Heard. If someone breaks into MY House to Steal MY Things or Harm MY Family or Me, I’m supposed to stand by while criminals Rape and or Kill My 2 young daughters or my wife and WAIT for the police to show up so their catch/Conviction Stats look good……… I Don’t Think So!
I WILL go to Jail to protect my Family.
Come on!! Really?! You can’t sence the sarcasm in the comments?! Really?! Wow..
I just came here to see who blames Obama
WTF….. they kinding us…. get in my house and rape my wife and im supposed to watch and doing nothing…. in your dream RCMP !!!!
Now if the crown and police could see the ridiculousness of this as the writer certainly does, we may get somewhere in this nation of victims. When will police quit charging people with 6 different crimes in hopes of one sticking? Leave good people alone and go after criminals FOR A CHANGE! The common sense in our society is long gone. Self defense is the oldest right granted to any individual period!
Im sorry but as a young mother i would do everything i can to make sure the person doesnt touch me or my children. What happened if someone hurt me bad enough that i counldnt stop someone from hurting my kids or stop them from taking them.
These comments sound real. If you are trying to be sarcastic, you failed. If you actually believe the article please scroll to the bottom of the page. The Manatee strikes again.
well that makes me sick to think just anyone .can feel free now to do what they want
.hey lets give the scum of the earth more courage lmao.maybe leave so milk an cookies . so a man doesn’t have no right’s to protect his wife an kid’s . lmfao
the sgt should read decision R. v. Lyons, 2007 NBQB 91. where an elderly handicapped man used a shotgun to defend his home from an intruder
R. v. Lyons, 2007 NBQB 91 Handicapped Ederly man defends his home from Intruder with shotgun…….
So it’s ok for someone to break into your home do what they want to you steal your stuff while you do NOTHING! Um no that’s not going to happen in my house hell no!
Was so relieved to find, at the bottom of the page, a DISCLAIMER: ALL content (including likenesses, quotes, figures, facts, etc.) hosted on this website and associated social media accounts are fictitious and satirical and should not be taken seriously.
These posts were starting to worry me.
this article might be a joke, but there is a real case going on in St Stephen that this is based on.. 3 people break into his home and he is being charged
Very humorous article.I know one thing……….the second shot is a warning shot.
All warning shots are to center of mass
wow. it sounds like a shopping spree for thieves and people just have to sit back and watch their belongings they worked for go into hands of these waste’s of skin. this is encouraging breakins. use commom sense people. best case scenario for a homeowner is to hope your family isnt harmed and have a fun insurance claim. and im sure the robber wont stop at his last hit. im not taking chances with my family!
I would like everyone, including the writer of this article to be aware that the man in question, the “senior citizen” facing a 10 year sentence, is in fact a notorious and a rather “infamous” drug dealer in the community of his residence.
This “home Invasion” was done by a couple of low life drug users trying to steal from a low life drug dealer. He did not have any legally owned firearms on his property, only unregistered restricted ones. This is illegal in Canada, as is supplying drugs to your local community unless you are a pharmacist. He does have the right under the law to defend his home and property but that’s not the issue.
He fired twice inside the residence and wounded one suspect. This is completely legal and he is not facing any charges related to “his property protection rights”. The issue and the charges he is facing are related to what he did AFTER HE DEFENDED HIMSELF.
They – as in the “suspects” – took flight and fled. He proceeded to chase them out of the yard while firing his weapon, which is illegal; since in the process of retreating or fleeing they posed no further danger or risk to him or his property. Firing your weapon (in this case an illegal restricted weapon) wildly into the night at a fleeing vehicle, in a neighborhood, AFTER THE THREAT HAS PASSED is the issue.
I understand the gun lobby in this country needs an issue to hold on to in order to press the message, but this has got to be one of the worst examples for them to latch onto. If this so-called and apparently self-styled journalist would have done their work properly, we would know the actual story. But that’s not what this is here.
This man is a total scumbag, a blight on his community and the sewer rats he did business with tried to screw him over. As far as I’ve learned in this life, that’s the nature of crime. You take your risks. To ask the public to stand behind such a pathetic individual is the height of idiocy. To expect the public to tolerate small arms fire spraying around in the middle of the night in a quiet neighborhood is to ask the unreasonable and the impossible. No one should have to fear stray bullets from illegal weapons while they sleep. Tis time to wake up here.
To the author of this fantastic piece – the next time you want to write a colorful, satirical article, that is well written and indeed funny, perhaps you should check your facts a little more thoroughly than simply skimming lightly over one internet Facebook article that popped up on your feed and pissed you off; before you lose your mind and immediately blow the parade trumpets to have us all out shouting and demanding our rights back, Perhaps you should read a little further into the details before you pen a ridiculous spectacle of law enforcement and the legal system in general, who were all tasked with making sense of all this nonsense. Not to mention whilst you make a mockery of the journalistic profession in the process.
You work in media apparently Abby…maybe you should read a bit of it.
Mike Rogers,
Where did you find this information on the Woodard shooting? I followed the story for a while right after it happened and had never heard any of this info, and what you have stated here completely changes everything. Drug dealer or not really is irrelevant but if Woodard was firing at them while outside of the house and retreating then he did in fact commit a criminal offense. Could you possibly post a link? Thanks very much.
Mike Rogers,
In fact I still cannot locate any information anywhere confirming what you have stated here Mike. Please would you inform me as to where you have gotten this information.
Thanks
@Mike Rogers this article is satire. There is no need to attack the writer for writing satire on stuff reported by by CBC and Sun News and the stuff I personally read didn’t mention anything about illegal guns and drugs, but if you have some news reports on that, please share with the rest of us. I read this stuff all the time and I don’t think any of the Manatee writers are pretending to be journalists. All these guys write stories about Brunswick Sq being sold to a billionaire kid and dumping snow in the river to send to Fredericton, its not intended to be taken seriously… or do you just go around attacking all the articles?
Internet trolls attack everything and cannot just laugh it off and enjoy…
Well this article has now informed all crimals they can walk in any property and do as they please…..sounds like the SS is back in power…The RCMP will not beable to handel the increase vilolence as they cannot handel as is …My question..Are the RCMP allowed to defend themseves while off duty ???… This is a joke on the internet Right?
The Charter of RIGHTS says we have a right to be safe. Someone breaks in? I HOPE it isn’t necessary but sadly? THUGS GONNA THUG.
Screw that. If someone is trying to stab me in my own home, you’re damn right I’m fighting back. It’s my home and I have the right to defend me and my animals and my partner.
THAYS GREAT. THE RCMP HAVE NOW GIVEN A GREEN TO CRIMINALS TO ROB, BREAK ANS ENTER, INVADE HOMES, since the homeowners are NOT ALLOWED TO RESIST !!!
VERY SMART THINKING of the RCMP.
Talk about wanting full total control, reminds me of the nazi state.
Marxism in a Nutshell …
Well if the justice system actually worked it may be okay but with all the little technical things the criminals get off with I suppose the solve rate might be true in the statement that they know who does it but most generally they get nothing for it.
Apparently all the education these decision makers have, there is no common sense in there anywhere why do you think the theives do what they do and now even the inocent people are supposed to let them get away with it too. Really people think about it.
For all the people who can’t spend a minute do do some research, this is a bs news website. The man was arrested, not for defending himself, but for shooting at a car that was leaving the scene, therefore potentially endangering other people. He was charged with reckless discharge of a firearm, which is pretty accurate in this case.
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