Saint John — Move aside New Brunswick wetlands, waterways and old-growth forests — a new data centre may be coming for you!
Last year the City of Saint John rezoned a huge area along the Bay of Fundy — the Spruce Lake Industrial Park — in order to develop roughly 600 hectares for business purposes. One of those businesses aiming to set up shop is a data centre by VoltaGrid LLC and BeaconAI.
The proposed data centre’s detractors say the noise, heat, environmental damage and overall harm to human wellbeing are reason enough to halt the build before it starts.
But BeaconAI spokesperson Roy Botsford claims that this data centre is crucial.
“You may not see it now, but without these centres, there’s no quick way to generate images of a dog mowing a lawn or your cousin with 15 fingers. How else can we continue to share pictures on Facebook of how we would look as an astronaut or a cowboy? How would local businesses generate a yellowish event flyer that looks like a dictionary threw up on it?”
Our reporter asked Botsford whether this data centre will benefit the real people who live in the area. Will it create employment opportunities?
“Will it benefit humans? Oh God, no, no. But think of the job creation for A.I. bots!
“I know a big concern with A.I. is job losses. But there’s no reason to worry. As long as you’re a chatbot of some kind, that is. People? Yeah, you’re screwed. The environment too.”
Botsford added in a hopeful tone that the initial build would likely employ humans, at least briefly.
“But after that, any work contracts will be wrapped up. Once it’s finished, it’s just a sprawling pollution factory devoid of life. But yes, a few engineers and labourers will be required during the construction phase, so you can count that as a win.”
Anna Wilson, who lives in the Lorneville area where the proposed data centre would be built, says she’s already losing sleep worrying about the project.
“And imagine how much sleep I’ll be losing with that noisy, hot beast humming away nonstop! It will literally raise the temperature of the area by a few degrees, and this is somehow acceptable?”
The Saint John mayor and councillors are less concerned, citing the benefits for clankers of all kinds.
“Human beings are being phased out of life — it’s time we all came to accept that,” said Mayor Donna Reardon. “A.I. is inevitable and this is what progress now looks like. Before long, A.I. will be mayor, and the councillors will just be a collection of bots trawling the internet for answers to municipal issues and regurgitating those answers for citizens.
“Thankfully, I was planning to retire soon anyway, so it won’t affect me personally.”