Catcalling season officially underway in New Brunswick

Catcalling season officially underway in New Brunswick

Fredericton — The Picture Province is just a little more picturesque in the springtime, with women venturing outside in dresses, shorts and skirts rather than parkas and Uggs.

While New Brunswick girls and women are only wearing what’s weather-appropriate, they are also — through no fault of their own — the targets of catcalls from dull-witted men in cars, trucks and on bikes.

“Look at all that ass!” shouted New Brunswick man Brent Higgins at an unsuspecting woman crossing the street on her way to the York Street YMCA. “Work it, baby!”

Higgins is only one of hundreds of New Brunswick men who seem to legitimately believe women want to hear this kind of crude commentary. While not many women find the unsolicited attention to be flattering, nearly all of them know it to be the surest sign that spring is in the air.

“I was walking to Superstore to get some groceries this morning when a gross, fat creep in a Civic rolled down his window and yelled ‘Ow-owwwww! Lookin’ good! Take it off!!'” said Fredericton woman Fiona Murray, 26. “While I was disgusted by him as a person, I also felt a brief wave of happiness knowing that winter is finally over. It’s almost patio season!”

Brianna Wright, 29, of Dundonald Street shared a similar experience.

“I was heading over to my boyfriend’s for dinner yesterday and this pack of frat-boy types sped by me yelling a bunch of different things about me. Honestly, what do they hope will happen? They think I’m going to respond positively to that? But yeah, on the whole I’m happy it’s catcalling season because it means it’s summer in New Brunswick, at long last. Bring on the beach weather!”

Local catcallers are no less excited for springtime than the women they verbally harass.

“Oh man, I can’t wait to drive around all summer blastin’ AC/DC and pickin’ up chicks,” said northside man Dave Greer, who has never picked up “chicks” but enjoys yelling at them. “Me and the boys are gonna grab some Alpines and hit on everything that walks. Gonna be awesome.”

Share your thoughts. We reserve the right to remove comments.

%d bloggers like this: