Fredericton — A Fredericton woman was causing quite a stir on Facebook this morning after posting an outcry about the new rainbow crosswalk painted downtown for Pride Week.
In a lengthy, grammatically butchered Facebook post, 38-year-old Suzanne Rhodes complained that the crosswalk was pushing “gayness” on people and that the Pride movement was being “thrown in her face.”
Rhodes continued by exclaiming that when she accidentally crossed the rainbow crosswalk, she was overcome by a gay wave that she just couldn’t shake all morning.
“I was halfway across the crosswalk before I noticed it was rainbow-coloured; I had been checking the Facebook and wasn’t paying attention where I was walking. As soon as I got to the other end I could already feel my body tingling and turning a bit gay. Is this what the city wants?!”
Rhodes added that she needs to use that crosswalk to get to City Hall to complain about other things. “Now I have to take a different crosswalk to avoid catching the gayness coming from that crosswalk — why don’t people just let me live my life?”
We reached out to the Fredericton police, and so far there have been zero confirmed cases of people turning gay after using the crosswalk.
“I’m not sure I understand the question?” Police Chief Leanne Fitch told us this morning. “Nobody should be concerned about the crosswalk changing their sexual orientation. Wait, why are we even having this conversation?”
The Fredericton Pride festival kicked off Friday at 11:45 a.m. with the raising of the Pride flag at City Hall, and a Pride parade followed on Sunday afternoon.