Hampton — RCMP in the town of Hampton are warning people in the area to be extremely vigilant following several attacks by a vicious, roaming pack of Shetland Sheepdogs with deceptively healthy-looking coats that have been tormenting residents in the region for several days.
“Until the situation is brought under control we are asking the people of Hampton and in surrounding areas to remain indoors at all times if necessary,” said RCMP Serg. Paul Robichaud. “If you do need to go outside, we are advising that you do so exercising the utmost caution. Despite being very well-groomed, these animals are highly, highly dangerous and any contact with them whatsoever could easily become a life-threatening situation.”
According to sources, the murderous, pure-bred, well-kept miniature collies were first reported after a jogger was savagely attacked. “I was running up Everett Street,” said a still-recovering Tony Kyle from a bed at the Saint John Regional Hospital, “when I heard a lot of high-pitched barking. I turned around and saw what had to be at least 15 to 20 really nice-looking little dogs all coming toward me.”
Kyle said he assumed the dogs must have escaped from a breeder, so he stopped and waited for them to approach thinking he might be able to keep them all in one area while he called the SPCA; however, what happened next came completely unexpected.
“They started biting me from all sides; they were hell-bent on ripping me to pieces,” said Kyle tearing up as he recalled the horrific attack. “I barely managed to climb on top of a car and call the police.”
Kyle said that when one RCMP officer arrived he either didn’t receive or heed the warning given to the 911 dispatcher. “I told them they were extremely vicious, but the cop just got out of his car thinking he could handle it. When several of them started biting his legs he pulled his gun out but one of them jumped up and bit it out of his hand.”
Kyle said the officer quickly retreated to his vehicle and the small dogs, all with perfectly tipped ears, only vacated the area after they collectively spotted another jogger and began pursuing the man ferociously.
Kyle said he didn’t know what happened to the unidentified jogger who inadvertently saved his life, but speculated that it may have been local Roger Hoggins who is known to run in the area and who has been missing for several days. “I fear the worst for him,” said Kyle.
“The level of aggression these small, prissy-looking little dogs have been witnessed displaying is quite simply beyond any known natural predators in this province,” said local wild life expert Joanne Richards. “We recently discovered the remains of a moose close to a wooded area just off the Trans-Canada Highway in the area; the animal appears to have died from blood loss after sustaining hundreds upon hundreds of tiny bites, which were unmistakably from these wild Shelties. What’s more disturbing,” she went on to say, “is that they didn’t even harvest its meat — they simply killed it for sport.”
According to local Stacy Mann who saw the dogs mercilessly attacking a large black bear on the side of Main Street as she was driving home from work: “They all seemed to have really nice, healthy-looking coats — at least the parts that weren’t dripping with blood — and they were tearing that poor black bear limb from limb.”
Hampton RCMP estimate the wild Shelties to be at least 19 in number, that most have a silk-like shining tri-coloured coat with dried blood around their snouts, and that if any are spotted to contact authorities immediately.
Thats the fakest story I ever heard
I think that’s the point…
Their owners become murderous when you call them “miniature Collies”…