Fredericton — The Progressive Conservative government recently announced plans to distribute a one-time payment of $300 to households earning under $70K annually.
This generous “affordability” benefit is not without strings attached, however, reporters learned today in a press conference given by the premier at the legislature.
Not only will households need to apply to receive the benefit, but the application will also force those who hope to receive the $300 to list each and every item they plan to spend the money on. Their answer to that question will determine whether they qualify for the benefit. Higgs says he himself will be reviewing the applications.
“While this is technically a gift, I want to clarify that it’s not to be spent on just any old thing you want,” said Blaine Higgs, wagging his finger in admonishment. “It should not be used on any of the following wasteful expenditures…” he went on, hauling out a hand-written list and clearing his throat.
“Tattoos, piercings, fake nails or any other pointless body art. No one needs that and it’s not what our gift should be spent on.
“Next, no street drugs. Though I would like to add that we encourage using the money at Cannabis NB. I think we can all agree that marijuana doesn’t really count as ‘drugs’ these days. We just ask that you don’t go through private cannabis dealers. And don’t buy meth — after all, that’s what causes homelessness.
“All right, what’s next…” he said, peering over his glasses. “Oh yes. Absolutely no donations to any of these trans-whatchacallit causes or groups. We trust the families of New Brunswick will ignore this Policy 713 nonsense and focus on parents’ rights, to make their dollars count.
“Another thing low-income families should steer clear of is any spending on entertainment. If you have leisure time, you should be looking for a higher-paying job, so that your family is no longer so poor that you need our handouts. That’s just common sense. This means no going to movies, no Netflix, no fancy dinners.
“Hm, next we have groceries and other bills. While this $300 should be used for food and shelter, it’s obvious to me that most of you will buy pop and pull-tabs at the convenience store before getting nutritious food for your families. So if you intend to use the money toward groceries, you need to list the items, and submit the receipt on next year’s taxes.”
The premier paused suddenly, and stared at his list in silence for almost two full minutes.
“Actually, you know what? Cancel the $300. I made a mistake with this,” he said abruptly.
“There must be easier and cheaper ways to get votes rather than wasting my budget surplus on you people.”
Before leaving, the premier told members of the media that “this whole thing is off the record.”
Higgs is such an ass. I understand the lowincome people receiving or not receiving,who knows now;should be frugal with that $300. Groceries,rent or a power bill should be a priority!! He is still an ass.