New Brunswick — With online learning set to return next Tuesday, many New Brunswick parents have been left scrambling to find appropriate childcare for their kids — or be forced to forfeit pay and stay home due to the legal implications of leaving their child unattended.
Well, fret nor more. Once again, the Higgs government is coming to the rescue of those struggling as he announces changes to the province’s legislation surrounding the age of when a child can be left home unsupervised.
These changes will see the legal age a child can be left unsupervised move from 12 to 6, effective immediately.
The announcement comes after public outcry over the province’s seeming lack of support for workers when announcing new restrictions, which will see children delay their return to classroom work in order to slow the spread of COVID-19.
“We’ve heard you loud and clear,” proudly declared Premier Higgs. “We know that a lot of parents were stressed about how they were going to find childcare, or how they were going to continue to work when they don’t have paid sick days or leave options. So, we got together and came up with this pretty brilliant plan of simply changing the law on how old your kid has to be in order to stay home — you’re welcome.”
Higgs did admit that this plan won’t support 100 percent of families affected by the suspension of in-classroom learning, but he is confident that the majority will greatly benefit.
“I’ve already heard some complaints,” continued Higgs. “‘But Blaine, what do I do with my 5-year-old who’s supposed to be in school?’ You know what you do, Marlene? You figure it out, that’s what you do.
“Obviously we can’t make a rule that’s going to cover every person in every situation. But, it would be nice if just once people would focus on the positives and ignores that negativity in their lives. Yesterday you didn’t have any options. Thousands of parents were going to lose income because they couldn’t leave their child unattended at home — this government has all but eradicated that problem with one simple change.”
The premier didn’t open the floor for questions from reporters, and rather continued to speak of the added benefits of the new law.
“Think of how much easier your night will be with your kids home all day. They can do the laundry, do meal prep, clean the house. Parents are going to have enough free time on their hands that they’ll be able to go and get a second or third job now — then maybe they’ll stop bothering me about raising minimum wage or to lower taxes or whatever.”
Premier Higgs is a fall down fuck in the ass as a premier and should be fired ASAP
Premier Higgs is obviously clueless about what children can get up to if left alone for long periods of time.