N.B. legalizes parking wherever the eff you want if stopping at yard sales

N.B. legalizes parking wherever the eff you want if stopping at yard sales

Fredericton — If one of your pet peeves is nowhere to park at a yard sale, worry no longer. The province of New Brunswick is giving the green light to just parking wherever the eff you want as long as you’re stopping at a yard sale.

“Really, we are just formalizing what’s already happening,” admitted DTI minister Bill Oliver. “Whenever a yard sale happens, most of the time there is a cluster of people who just park as closely as possible to the driveway even if it means blocking the lanes of traffic on both sides of the street for a quarter-mile. Most people don’t even pull onto the shoulder.

“But, we’re here to say the Higgs government gets it,” said Oliver. “Most yard-salers are seniors with bad hips, bad feet, bad legs, bad arms, bad eyesight, hearing, torsos, hands, necks, heads…and especially bad backs. Yard sales are about the only places they go besides their doctors’ offices, the Co-op and Home Hardware.

“These folks are already driving around our neighbourhoods weaving all over the place doing 10 kilometres per hour trying to work a smartphone while searching for addresses. We need to encourage them to stop driving as quickly as possible and just park the damn thing already.”

The new law is getting mixed reviews from some people who are planning to host yard sales. “Really, I do get it, these people are enthusiastic about getting a bargain,” said Vonda Garage of Moncton, who plans to have a yard sale this weekend. “But, I’m not sure we should encourage the hardcore yard-salers to flaunt the rules any more than they already do.

“For example, the last time I had a yard sale I advertised an 8 a.m. start, and this trash-goblin lady was ringing my doorbell at 6:30 a.m. asking to see my ‘inventory.’ For some reason I said okay, and let her take a look. We had a TV for $50, she offered me $12.45. I kicked her out and went back to my coffee and vape.

“That was a long effin’ morning,” she said.

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