Fredericton — Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em because tobacco use in public is about to become more regulated than the Energy East pipeline. Today, Health Minister Victor Boudreau unveiled even more anti-smoking amendments to the Tobacco Sales Act — regulations that the minister claimed to be the most aggressive on the continent.
Last week, the provincial government released new measures to ban smoking from many outdoor places that may be used by children including restaurant patios, beaches, parks and sports fields. Also, new rules for e-cigarettes and vaping were announced, which will restrict those devices to smoking areas. This past Friday, the government subsequently revealed plans to prohibit the sale of menthol cigarettes as well as candy and fruit-flavoured cigarillos as of Jan. 1, 2016.
But, the Liberal government isn’t done with smokers yet. Today, they released additional tobacco use limits, the most restrictive and punitive in North America.
Starting July 1, smoking in public only will be a legal activity between 8 p.m. and 6 a.m. All types of public smoking outside of this 10-hour window are strictly prohibited, and punishable by a fine of $1,110. This restriction is to reduce the likelihood that a child will be exposed to secondhand smoke, and greatly reduce the risk of children witnessing the act of smoking.
Other new restrictions include the following:
- In addition to the fine, anyone caught smoking unlawfully will be forced to speak for the rest of the day using an electrolarynx, the medical device used to produce a robotic voice for people who have lost their voicebox due to cancer;
- Anyone under the age of 19 caught smoking will have to smoke the entire pack in front of an inspector, or eat an unfiltered cigarette and prove that they swallowed it;
- Each package of cigarettes now must include a simulated piece of diseased human lung;
- Citizens will be obligated by law to speak as sanctimoniously as possible to anyone seen smoking. The smoker must be told “you’re killing yourself” at least once every 60 seconds until the cigarette is finished;
- Smokers only can receive health care if they agree to wear a scarlet letter “S” on their hospital gown over their lungs while receiving services;
- The price of a carton of cigarettes will be increased to include the wholesale cost of an oxygen tank, which will be provided to local health-care facilities proactively on the smoker’s behalf.
At 20 percent, New Brunswick has the highest per capita smoking rate in the country compared to the national average of 15 percent. For those between the ages of 20 and 24, the rate is even higher at 28 percent. According to the Canadian Cancer Society, lung cancer accounts for about 25 percent of all cancer deaths in the province, and 85 percent of those cancers are caused by smoking.
“Smoking is set to become the most tightly controlled human activity in New Brunswick history,” said Boudreau. “As long as the government is paying for health care with tax revenue, we can justify just about any tobacco regulation and tax. So, we are just going to town on them.”
When asked whether there will be additional regulations on other health-adverse activities such as alcohol and caffeine consumption, unhealthy food, poor sleep, over-work, inactivity, lack of vaccinations, promiscuous unprotected sex, high-risk recreational activities, and poor oral hygiene, Boudreau was incredulous. “We can’t regulate those things the same way as smoking. This is still a democracy after all. I’m not sure what you are getting at.”
Fuck that I’ll smoke how I want where I want whenever I want I pay my taxes and work hard and smoke where I’m suppose to and I don’t smoke in my house where my child is so fuck that if I can’t smoke on my front step they can fuck themselves
fuck anyone who thinks they can tell me what to do with my body!!
Who the hell do these people think they are?!!!! This is fastly becoming a communist country!!!
communist country yup
This topic has nothing to do with communism. Try looking up the word communism before using it you uneducated fool.
who that he’ll are you to smoke in from of children and share the cancer second hand poison?
I think you mean fascist.
Okay, Heres the real problem I have with this BS if in fact they want the smoking out ,why are they not canceling out selling the FN things?WHY.cause of the money they make off of us,So::::::
#1,Ill sell these to you
#2 But you will not be allowed to smoke them.
#3 You will be fined $1000 + $$ if caught smoking
#4 You will have our children eat the cigarette if caught
#5 This is just the beginning
#6 Now tell me why ? Does the government still have the right to sell them.
#7 MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY
#8 Smoker or not why would anyone be behind this hypricritical asses
#9 I am also a smoker but if infact there was none to buy,I guess I wouldn’t be SMOKING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i refuse to pick a side on this issue but only wish to say that this smacks of the post prohibition period where it was once again legal to purchase alcohol but illegal to transport it. legal to drink within the confines of your own home but not on the front lawn or porch-again owned by you making it private property. the laws were absurd and set you up for failure to comply so gradually better minds prevailed and changed the laws. is there a ‘better system’ out there for tobacco users with all the far reaching affects on bystanders. don’t know. good luck to all concerned and no i am not a smoker.
Here’s another to add to your list…..If smoking is so deadly to children in public places, especially outdoors, why don’t they take children out of homes where the parents smoke, and put them in Foster care, and charge the parents with attempted murder…..of course that would start a war, so they don’t, but it proves that it is simply oppression, not a real health concern.
That’s why they are making it illegal, smoking rates are down so now the have come up with the genius idea of fining us over $1000 if we get caught smoking in public so they can recuperate the money in lost revenue
My goodness you people are stupid! Do you actually believe this is real?
Obviously these comments are coming from smokers…..clearly your lacking something in your life to have such a nasty bad habit. Maybe figure out what it is and fill the void. You’re killing yourselves.
You are so simple minded . People like you need to put there foot in mouth
Feel free to take your opinion and fuck yourself with it.
Feel free to take your opinion and go fuck yourself with it.
if I don’t care about killing myself w. Cigarettes why should you ? Why do you have a say in my life choices ? Positive or negative me myself and I will be dealing with it.
That last paragraph, hypocritical.
Actually yeah no one does give a shit about you and your life and how you wanna fuckiny die but when your sick as fuck and can’t breathe cuz you destroyed the shit out of your lungs and tax Payers who pay hard earned money and you might be one of them will be paying the cost f Ur treatment and your stay at a hospital when U can’t breathe that’s about 4500 a night for staff medication equipment to keep U from dying even tho you have a death wish not to mention the medicAtion U might possibly need during Ur stay at a hospital.. When all that money could be going towards other things and towards people who actually value their life and want to live… Not saying that every smoker will end up that way but you would have to be stupid to think Ur thT lucky that you won’t and chances you probably will die a slow miserable death and take away thousands of dollars along the way.. So seriously you can do whatever you want because it is your body but I guess U might as well goo commit suicide when Ur diagnosed and save the rest of us the pain of Trying to save Ur pathetic life and wasting our money doing it
Wow I bet you drink, eat junk food, but it’s okay if you drive drunk and kill someone, or feed a child nothing but junk food – right
It’s my life. Don’t tell me how to live it. I already pay stupid amount more taxes
Clearly your a non-smoker as well as self-righteous. Your also clearly missing something in your life if you have to judge others to make yourself feel better. These days everything kills us, why don’t you go live on a mountain inside a bubble.
maybe if the government didn’t push it on people in the first place years ago then the might not be that many smokers and what about the older generation who have smoked for years through the goverment saying it’s a good thing years ago gonna do body shock and die
I would personally like to take this opportunity to thank all those who still smoke for paying much, much, more in taxes than I do. We all receive the same Government services yet my cost is much less. Thanks.
Drunks do too. The taxes are even higher on alcohol.
Ppl can suck on a Dick i smoke and in over 18 if they think they can tell me what to do they can fuck off our government sucks just like they try taking our guns fuck u Obama
Lol this comment cracks me up. First of all you better head back to school and figure out where u live cause u mu friend are bitching at the wrong guy. Fredericton New Brunswick is in Canada run by a prime minister whos name in Stephen Harper not a president who runs the United States whos name is Barack Obama so if u wanna bitch bitch to the right country
LOL this is in Canada idiot.
BTW Obama still isn’t trying to take your guns. You read too many memes and not enough facts
Accept I smoke native smokes. No taxes noob.
big brother we let the Government tell us what to do for too long. time to stand up and say enough is enough.
What happened to Canada being a free country . In stead of going after the smokers . Go after the people that are committing real crimes . This is why us young people need to vote so we can stop these idiots from trying to take control of every move we make
I can t take this anymore, I am not the government’s little puppet. I am my own person . And i refuse to take orders from people like them . I only have one life and Im not going to live it the way they want me to be
Are u kidding me? Is this China? Why not take out the carcinogens that armrest in the cigarettes that are made. What’s next? Telling us what we can or cannot wear? Eat? Drink? Sleep with? What we do during our spare time??!! The government has crossed the line!!
This has to be fake like really making a kid smoke a hole pack or eat the smoke like really theres something wrog with that
Well people sit there and say bad things about us but they think its just so damn easy to stop well its not!! This is wrong and I don think they should do this I dont smoke were im not sopost to I dont smoke around my kids r ne were they say no smoking so what we do with our freakin body is what we do and it costs a grip of freakin money to jus buy 1 thing to stop I only spend so much on smokes but I dont know I hate this but maybe in a little tiny way well I dont know but sum of the things there going to do is not right so they should rethink all that and the fine is beyond freaking crazy!!!!!!!
I think everyone here should take five, enjoy a smoke, chill the fuck out and read the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.
Thought it was fake, good eye sir lol!
Why am I not surprised!?! Cuz they already what to put microchips in our bodies by 2019! Its a sad sad world! For all you non-smokers back of cuz it’d our bodies not yours! Do you like it when someone tells you want you shouldn’t be doing!?! So judge yourself before you judge another!
Canada has never been a free country…seeing to as we are all run by the government..we have to abide by the rules, dont do this, dont do that!! dont smoke or you will be fined, dont walk your dogs because others have pet allergies…soon, we will all become projects for what ever the government has planned next…us Canadians are loosing what we once called “our country”..they are allowing immigrants into our country to create jobs??? and what jobs are they? Because, also, now they are controlling what was once ours, and also changing what we do, and how we live…for what? to accomidate they’re religions…ect…they are now also trying to cut the National Anthem out of our systems because it’s against they’re religion….they can all go back to where they F’N came from…dont try to over power us, because now, i can see what’s next…and it wont be nice….The next World War!!! How can we fight back? And do we even stand a chance anymore…we seem to have lost everything. Sad to say….
I find it funny that smokers are persecuted so heavily, while the obese, who put an equal strain on health care aren’t regulated to diet and eat healthy. Furthermore, who is paying for the policing of such smoking criminals. The municipal police, I’m sure, have enough to do. By my own vague understanding of tax payers dollars you are trying to spend the money saved on smokers Healthcare to provide a smoking police. Give your self riotous head a shake then stick it up your asses
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ALL content (including likenesses, quotes, figures, facts, etc.) hosted on this website and associated social media accounts are fictitious and satirical and should not be taken seriously.
Holy hell people in NB are stupid. Hahaha It’s like they have no idea what satire is. Thank you for this beautiful article.
Haha Fake but pretty funny!
This is satire.
Anyone that believes this are idiots it’s not real……heellloo if you actually take the time and read it …one of the rules are if your caught under 19 years of age smoking you will be forced to smoke an entire pack in front of an inspector. Really like really so if a 10 year old gets caught they going to make him smoke a whole pack like come on people use your heads!!
This is the most ridiculous thing iv ever heard in my life!! I’m a smoker and I love smoking! I’m tired of these fucking twats looking down on me because I enjoy having a cigarette. No one can tell what I can or cannot do with my own body. People who aren’t smokers are just fucking hypocrites because guess what…everybody has a bad habit. Fuck the world you mother fuckers this is MY choice!!!
Do you people not know anything about the site you are on?
Disclaimer:
The Manatee is a satirical news site offering fictional, critical observations of popular culture and current events. It is intended to be humorous with a harsh dose of reality. Any interview subjects’ resemblance to a member of the public not in the public eye is purely coincidental and should not be taken seriously. Quotes and stories from real people in the public eye are fictional and intended for satire only.
Satire=joke!
LOL everyone is getting so upset.. You can’t tell me you’ve all read this article in full. If you had, you’d know that it’s painfully fake–and extremely entertaining.
Go after a real criminal you fucking panzy ass bitch politition this is revolutions start. Freedom of choice … My choice not yours go fuck yourself
If you are unwilling to tighten up the laws on booz or unprotected sex or any other high risk activities then in my eyes your just being an asshole. Alcohol has killed or hurt more people throughout the whole world then smoking or second hand smoke or unprotected sex has all combined. If you’re not going to tighten up the rules on all of the high risk activities then in my eyes your discriminating against the people who smoke and do so responsibility.
I see what your trying to do, but if you can’t do it to everything then your like I said before discriminating against taxpaying citizens.
Ridiculous.
So when will be allowed to go up the the super obese at Mickey Ds and tell them to put down the fork their killing themselves?????? I do that now and I would be put up on YouTube as Super Bitch.
this is crazy harper is turning our country into a communist country I would nevr allow them to make my son eat or smoke a full pack of smokes. I quit smoking and im against it but they cant enforce those rules. Especially in our own reservations try come here and do that boy there really trying to control everything I think eventually there’s going to be a civil war. To make someone eat a pack of smokes you would be doing more harm then good Indians really need to vote harper out lets do it my fellow natives.
DISCLAIMER:
ALL content (including likenesses, quotes, figures, facts, etc.) hosted on this website and associated social media accounts are fictitious and satirical and should not be taken seriously.
©Copyright 2015 The Manatee Inc. All rights reserved
This is located at the bottom of this page. You can light one up now.
At the moment I’m a smoker but I have gone through quitting twice and will again. I think this is brilliant! I can’t believe how many people are hitting the panic button. LOL You might as well have said aliens are invading.
This is fucking bullshit they can’t make us do any of it u will need to put a cop on every corner to keep it under control and ain’t no one willing to pay for that bs they will loose 75% of the cities if they even try
Can anybody not tell that this is fake?
You know what you sneaku ass liberals you l can suck on my hairy jonsen why dont you just make smoking illegal then if your going to make all these laws on it whats the point your trying to control everyone i thought canada was a free country not we livr under your thumb ill continue to smoke where ever the fuck i want ill even nlow it in your fucked up faces im so sick of this democracy bull shit i can understand parks and cars but whats next like really you all can go fuck your selfs ill smash the voice the box infront of some fucking pig ill smoke at a damn hospital if i so choice so fucking watch me
You retards know that this is fake right ?
Where do we draw the line. The above is ridiculous even if it’s meant as a joke or satirical writing..whatever. The thing is… Awareness over the past 25 years has done a lot. It’s time now just to leave people alone. Policies are in place..people are aware…just leave peeps alone. Change has come and will continue with out the constant barage. (and I come from a family of smokers and spouses who smoked etc..family who dies of cancers etc… Just leave it be.)
My grandpa died cause of smoking
i find this quote funny ” This restriction is to reduce the likelihood that a child will be exposed to secondhand smoke, and greatly reduce the risk of children witnessing the act of smoking.”won’t people smoke in the house more and more children will see it.dumbass government
good luck with this one you queer communist loving idiots
Honestly it makes sense, we have free health care and people are destroying thier bodies ohkay i get it you can do what you want with your own body but dont go wasting our health care system funds when you get your self sick because of it you made your choice now live with it. Thats why they are doing this did you read that smoking causes 85% of all cancer victims, guess that ether stop smoking or start paying for your own health care thats what they are saying. At this point smoking is making them lose more money in health care then it is in selling the product obviously.
Did anyone read the other restrictions?
i agree with this post. this is good for the kids and seniors and this will prevent smokers from throwing their cigerrete butts everywhere so which means our beautiful country will will be much cleaner. smoking should be illegal before 8pm. and if your smoking, you must be on your own property. Smokers will always want things their way, it doesnt mean we have to listen to these people.
Some people would do anything to avoid talking to their children. About smoking among everything else. Next they will ban sexy times to avoid the bees and flowers(or whatever it is North Americans use to explain sex to the children) conversation
omg not another hitler, wearing an S over our chest on a hospital gown Jesus what is wrong with this? We chose a bad government this is not okay, I don’t smoke but OMG this is a free country government you’re going way too fucking far
Fidel, where are you??
I thought we just passed the anti-bullying act and I thought it was against the law to label people
I am for stupidity that whole certain amount a feet away from public places really works already …. Duh ….who actually follows that i detour around to another door if there someone smoking there not only because of my kids but I have sinus issues and my eyes burn from second hand smoke funny thing is when I was younger I smoked but if this is real who are they gonna pay to hand out all these fines I don’t see anyone handing out fines for the already existing laws for smoking bans because our police have better things to deal with they need a better plan to deal with the fact that they got the country addicted to smoking so they could make money off taxes from sales then complain about it after the cost of healthcare to deal with side affects of it get real Canada and come up with a better plan because this is a joke
The big problem is that this may not be true YET!!!! but believe me it soon will be if the powers that be get their way
I have no idea if this is a joke or not but ill be damned if these nitwits are going to tell me what to do! Maybe all us smokers should stop paying our dam taxes! I’ll smoke where I want, we have rights too, if they are going to ban smoking outside then ill just park my car on my lawn and smoke there! Too dam bad, the only issue they are shitting about is kids… I don’t smoking my home or anywhere near my grandkids, its the parents who need to look after their kids to make sure they are not smoking not the government! We have to change our rules and religions for all the others coming into this country so why can’t us smokers smoke? Maybe we should all just move to Cuba where they have no bullcrap and the hell with our country…. at least its warmer with no dam potholes and no government bureaucratic bullshit
Sounds fake. If not, legally they can’t do 99% of the things it says they plan to do. Legally you can’t force someone to say “You’re killing yourself” or anything for that matter.
If being told that you can’t smoke in public places & being forced to smoke in your home then it’s not really helping the kids that are at home with the parent/carer. I wonder where the government bodies smoke. Is it in any private rooms in the big buildings where they work?
it’s satire….
This is absolutely retarded! You cannot make it illegal to smoke outside for 10 hours! Free country right. Nor can you do this “Anyone under the age of 19 caught smoking will have to smoke the entire pack in front of an inspector, or eat an unfiltered cigarette and prove that they swallowed it”
I will continue to smoke where I want when I want, as long as no kids are around and I have ALWAYS done that. Fuck toy government shilly fuckers
Oh my god are you people that lacking in brain cells? Its a spoof article, jheeez!
People commenting seem to be forgetting that none of the news on this website is real… It’s called satire, people