Fredericton — Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em because tobacco use in public is about to become more regulated than the Energy East pipeline. Today, Health Minister Victor Boudreau unveiled even more anti-smoking amendments to the Tobacco Sales Act — regulations that the minister claimed to be the most aggressive on the continent.
Last week, the provincial government released new measures to ban smoking from many outdoor places that may be used by children including restaurant patios, beaches, parks and sports fields. Also, new rules for e-cigarettes and vaping were announced, which will restrict those devices to smoking areas. This past Friday, the government subsequently revealed plans to prohibit the sale of menthol cigarettes as well as candy and fruit-flavoured cigarillos as of Jan. 1, 2016.
But, the Liberal government isn’t done with smokers yet. Today, they released additional tobacco use limits, the most restrictive and punitive in North America.
Starting July 1, smoking in public only will be a legal activity between 8 p.m. and 6 a.m. All types of public smoking outside of this 10-hour window are strictly prohibited, and punishable by a fine of $1,110. This restriction is to reduce the likelihood that a child will be exposed to secondhand smoke, and greatly reduce the risk of children witnessing the act of smoking.
Other new restrictions include the following:
- In addition to the fine, anyone caught smoking unlawfully will be forced to speak for the rest of the day using an electrolarynx, the medical device used to produce a robotic voice for people who have lost their voicebox due to cancer;
- Anyone under the age of 19 caught smoking will have to smoke the entire pack in front of an inspector, or eat an unfiltered cigarette and prove that they swallowed it;
- Each package of cigarettes now must include a simulated piece of diseased human lung;
- Citizens will be obligated by law to speak as sanctimoniously as possible to anyone seen smoking. The smoker must be told “you’re killing yourself” at least once every 60 seconds until the cigarette is finished;
- Smokers only can receive health care if they agree to wear a scarlet letter “S” on their hospital gown over their lungs while receiving services;
- The price of a carton of cigarettes will be increased to include the wholesale cost of an oxygen tank, which will be provided to local health-care facilities proactively on the smoker’s behalf.
At 20 percent, New Brunswick has the highest per capita smoking rate in the country compared to the national average of 15 percent. For those between the ages of 20 and 24, the rate is even higher at 28 percent. According to the Canadian Cancer Society, lung cancer accounts for about 25 percent of all cancer deaths in the province, and 85 percent of those cancers are caused by smoking.
“Smoking is set to become the most tightly controlled human activity in New Brunswick history,” said Boudreau. “As long as the government is paying for health care with tax revenue, we can justify just about any tobacco regulation and tax. So, we are just going to town on them.”
When asked whether there will be additional regulations on other health-adverse activities such as alcohol and caffeine consumption, unhealthy food, poor sleep, over-work, inactivity, lack of vaccinations, promiscuous unprotected sex, high-risk recreational activities, and poor oral hygiene, Boudreau was incredulous. “We can’t regulate those things the same way as smoking. This is still a democracy after all. I’m not sure what you are getting at.”
This is going over the top now This is all l have to look forward to l dong drink l dont do much as l cant nowadays So l looked forward to my ciggarette Plus in stressfull situations it tends to calm a person down If this takes of l Think the alcahol should be treated in the same way as they are disstroying there liver with it O and people that take drugs is even worse as they steal and hurt people just so they can get there next hit Where as people that smoke dont caued bad situations as in fighting or giveing abuse to othed people as people that drink alcahol and take drugs cause alot of trouble So people that smoke are just distroying there own health were if in housd with kids go out to ure garden and do it away from kids fair enough As far as the alcahol drink this should be the sane rules oh dear forgot most of yous in parlament tend to drink through the day and also early evening Same rules should be apply It really is overboard
You’re stupid if you think cigarettes are better for you ??? alcohol and tobacco are the leading causes of deaths. Over 75% of people that have gotten lung cancer and died is due to tobacco. Yes, hard drugs like meth, cocaine and PCP are drugs that make you violent, and do things that are harmful to yourself. But plants, yes I said plants like marijuana actually have proven to help with many mental illnesses and other illnesses, that’s the reason its called medicinal marijuana(medical purposes) please show me where cigarettes help you lose lung cancer or help you live longer in any type of way…because honestly there’s not one single one!
Well said 🙂
Selena and Annette as much as i respect both of your opinions…. The pair of you have been masterfully trolled. This article is a work of fiction as are the rest on this website (read the bottom left of the page for a disclaimer not unlike the one you will find on the Onion News Network and Wunderground.com). This website is a fictitious satirical website aimed at poking fun at both society and trolling naive web browsers.
Wise up before 4chan truly takes over the Internet (Although it probably already has, the world has no shortage of idiots)
Alcohol and tobacco are the leading causes of deaths yes.So why are they still legal because the government can tax you to hell & watch you die a slow miserable death/agonising death then they complain like fuck when we have to go into nhs hospital to be treated.for what they have allowed you to take.Legalised manslaughter by government who should be brought to account for it.Now they want to Fine/Tax people even more for walking down the raod with a fag lit.double stanard two faced zealot wankers who are slowly chipping away turning this Country into a communist country no matter what government are running things..I agree with you that marijuana should be legalised & put to good use in treating ilnesses/making clothes etc.
This is beyond civil. There are ppl out there dying of cancer every day that have never smoked or drank a day in there life. What about new borns? How did they get cancer while still in the fetus, and yet the mother does not.What about the labours working in this world with cancer causing agents in the materials. We dont see the government doing anything about that. What about all the chemicals and additives in todays food. Why is it that its the smokers under attack. Ppl need to look around, there are other factors to consider. I was always told I was canadian, I would like to know when did we sell out to a communist country. Its bad enough that our own beliefs have been taken away from us.Now we are being treated like children.
Marijuana (skunk weed) has been proven to cause psychosis…..
Stupid?
Lol lolololololokolololol all day long what’s this shit lol haaaa has any one got balls to stand up to these assholes they are the ones that put cigs on the shelf for the people to kill them selves. There doing well to huh what about booze. Coke crack meth molly bathsalts speed etc etc……………….this is a joke. Starting to sound like Marshall law. Telling us what to do with our life our rights out the window. Ftp ftg that’s rite fuck the police and fuck the government fuck them all. Try this shit and people will stand against you
Lol give me a fine .make me eat cigarettes lol my boot be down their throat they will need a tooth brush up the ass to brush there teeth. ……………….wow lmfao so fucked! No government is going to tell me wat to do an run my life. My life my rules!
I agree with you. Its parthtic the ones that take hard drugs like meth coke speed etc and the ones that are heavy drinkers r at more risk of death before the ones that just smoke normal cigarette’s and normal tabbaco that are bought from the shops . so yes ftg n ftp . rant over
No ones stopping me smokin this is Sad who wants people telling us what we cant o can do !! We need a new government not David bloody Cameron
David Cameron has lots of input over stuff that happens in New Brunswick doesn’t he? Oh wait… that’s in New Jersey. I guess you read the article so much that you decided to gloss over a few minor details…
well if you chose to die from lung cancer or any other decease due to smoking you have all the right but what’s not fare is when you are sick that you go tot he hospital and start taking resources that could be use for some one that has not chosen to die from smoking! Yes, we all pay for our health insurance but to me this will be like buying a pizza within 5 people and only one person eating it all!
It’s funny how his trying to control life’s. It’s MY freedom to do whatever I want to my body. I will not be controlled. He really need to have a smoke (cig) and chill out. And to FINE us is just another way to support the government paychecks.
Here in the UK we are prohibited from smoking in public enclosed spaces, bars, offices work places. All smoking except from ones home has to be outside in the “FRESH AIR”. Just try entering a bar trying to get through the group of die hards with getting a lung full of their exhaled poison.
This may not be real like some of you have posted but it is not the first time I heard about this . . . could be the government putting out feelers to see how the public would react. My response would be “This is OUTRAGEOUS!! We are suppose to live in a free country!!! Just like taking away our menthol cigarettes!! It is all a bunch of BS!! Take about the act of DISCRIMINATION!! Cause that is what this law or bill whatever you want to call it is! Discrimination against smokers Where are our rights?I know smoking is not good for me but it is my right to do so if I wish, just like one can consume alcohol if he or she chooses to it can kill them or anyone else just as fast if not sooner. For they still get behind a wheel and drive!!!”
Could you please tell me how many deaths on the roads
Are caused by smoking and driving unlike thousands drinking and driving
Yes you are right I have never heard of an accident due to someone smoking,maybe whoever he things he is should remove all cell towers so there won’t b any more accidents due to texting ,what a clown and I don’t smoke.
Who ever put this on is full of shit, They cant make you eat or smoke any thing. They might give you a fine. Thats all they can do. I never smoked in my life, But there is way to many fucking laws. Every day they come up with another one. This is canada not fucking Russia or Germany. Its time people started throughing fucking MLAs to the curb.
HAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA anyone caught smoking under 19 has to smoke the hole pack ….this shits fuckin jokes
I agree some ass try to shove a pack of cigarettes down my kids throat better have the rest of his government with him.
First of all, to everyone that thinks this to do with the UK, please read the bloody article. New Brunswick is not a location in England. Second of all, read the bullet pointed notes, and realise how ridiculous they are. “Anyone under the age of 19 caught smoking will have to smoke the entire pack in front of an inspector, or eat an unfiltered cigarette and prove that they swallowed it” Yeah OK, seems legit to me.
Makes me upset that people read the title and start throwing shit at governments that have no bearing on this fake article ‘_’
People who are taking this serious are complete idiots. They are more of a problem to society than cigarettes are.
This is hilarious I will enjoy seeing police try to hand tickets out for this, good luck.
Government needs the tax dollars that cigarettes provide. If “non-smokers” find it so intrusive bann cigarettes, make them illegal and collect more tax dollars from the individuals that drink three bottles of wine a night and smoke weed. I guess smoke from weed does not hurt your lungs or your health. Just cigarette smoke, who are they trying to kid…this is all the reformed smokers who are now junkies and drunks!!! And yes smoking weed makes you just as much a junkie as doing crack!!!!
they will tell you what AND WHERE THAS HOW LIFE IS SOME ONE SAYS SO AND YOU DO THATS HOW WE ARE GOING TO BEAT THIS SHITE so just do as you are told or face the out come its not like its a good thing is all bad drugs are good for most things cigs an alchol are bad for all things its just the way they want you to know so the likes of canabiss is good and the USA is coming to belive that it is good they have to bite an say yes we were wrong weed is good for you so lets all get it of the government so we put the dealers out of a job that will never happen just like cigs there will be people who will not be able to buy it so thats were black market comes into it you got to be a certain age to buy them just like weed it will have a age limit on it but there will still be a black market that’s life we cannot have every thing so lets all just grow are own that’s why the don’t make it legal coss they cannot put a monopoly on it and tax it coss its a natural herb any one can grow it so lets all start growing skunk and make a stand ok rant over but im stoned so it makes sense for me ok thank you
This is totally bull grap! What happened to freedome? I wikl still smoke! If people don’t like it! They can just walk away
These fuckin people.. Glad I don’t live there. Gov gon make lotsa money off this one.
ok then the government can put food on my table,clothes on my back ,pay my 2 grand property taxes and pay my mortgage then.til then kiss my lilly white ass
It’s a crime to force feed under age kids cigarettes, it’s also a crime for CFS to put them in hotels. Now, my vehicle is MY property so I can therfore smoke freely in it. And I feel all this is a butch of crock! Look somewhere else to puff up the chest, like the mess with oil! Oh forgot, certain ppl might get poor,,,,good grief!
I think a few of the penalties are a bit over the top and rediculous but all in all i think its important to start phaising smoking out of society. Everyone is using alcohol as an example but it is prohibited in public so that arguement is invalid. Ultimately smoking needs to stop and i agree the restrictions will get this disgusting habit away from children thrush promoting less smokers in future generations…. (this is coming from a former smoker)
P.s smoking is not a need thus not a right, it is tested on animals, it kills first and second hand i have a right to not want your nasty habit infecting my lungs, and theses companies even distribute these disgusting things in developing communities!
How the heck could anyone want to support that!!!
But, just to be clear, this is not a smoking ban….
Thank God I don’t smoke any more, I just vape.
Wait a minute………oops.
Fake its too ridiculous for words you cant realy be believing this
For all you smokers who claim your only hurting yourself shut the hell up!! I am sorry but I am 100% in agreement with this crap I don’t smoke I can’t be around it but I have to breathe in your second crap smoke 24/7 oh and might I point out 2nd hand smoke is WORST for you to breath in so thank you for making my choice up for me about breathing in your shit !!! I agree smoke at 8pm to whatever time they say your allowed to this way people like me don’t have to breath in your second hand shit!! And kids don’t have to witness it !!
As for drinking yes drinking is bad for you!! I do that once in a blue moon but my consumption of alcohol unless I choose to drive only affects me and NOT YOU!!
WHere you choosing to smoke affects not only you but everyone around you breathing in the shit
Remember that and I hope to god they start cracking down harder on rules and laws on smokers at least time restrictions and tighter on where you can and can’t smoke
The wise trolling wizards of the internet strike again. Read the bottom left of the web page just below all of your hilarious comments about how outrageous this is or how righteous this is. You’ve all been trolled yet again.
Just like Onion News Network and Wunderground.com. Wise up kidiwinks your all just victims of a large scale trolling operation.
@The Manatee crew, keep up the good work! Nothing is funnier than exposing morons on the internet and then making them get angry over literally fiction. Bravo fellas brought a smile to me this day
I just had a germ of a thought about a future rant.
I was just sitting there, for a second, off in one of my daydream-like side-thought excursions, thinking about how much I truly despise control freaks, I.E. leftists, “liberals,” socialists and so-called progressives. (Probably due to my recent re-visit of the smoking issue.)
A few faces flashed through my mind…. notably, Daltolf McGuintler and his successor, Caitlin Wien. And how fucking *paternal* they are.
What I suddenly realized is that I was feeling just like a teenager who has come to that point in life, where the desire to make decisions for themselves starts to compete with the comfort and security of living with parents.
The whole process from child to teen to independent to adult seems natural.
But what happens when the final step into adulthood is over-ruled?
You finally gather up the nerve to take that fateful step and move out of your family to strike out on your own.
What a disappointment it must be to realize that you have moved out of mom and dad’s house only to discover yourself living in Ontario, where Daltolf and Caitlin are your new mom and dad…. or two dads, or two mommy’s. (Or whatever permutation of human relationship *they* choose to define, legitimize and, normalize via publicly funded propaganda and state coercion.)
Like anyone else, I had my issues with my mother and father. Looking back I miss those days. At least I could eventually move out and be on my own.
Fast forward to today. I am 61 years old and I am still thinking about moving out of my parents house although, the house is now Ontario and mom and dad are the nightmarish busy-bodies of the authoritarian left.
Only now, I am thinking of moving to Mexico or Belize or India where the paternalism might be less oppressive.
This line of inquiry might also find some relevance as it pertains to the reported trend of increasing numbers of young people continuing to live in their family homes.
When it comes to the choice of being ruled by mom and dad, or Dalt and Cat, the difference becomes less defined.
And the trend suggests that, according to increasing numbers of young people, they would rather stay with mom and dad.
As a teenager might say, “What’s the fucking difference?”
Honestly do you yanks really not get SATIRE? I thought you had problems with irony but you are really taking the piss if think this is real report.
And they told me hitler lost world war 2 in history class what a load of shit. Will this same government go after teachers lieing about how we are living in neo nazi capitalist utopia where rednecks can stroke their egos in public but someone who smokes and is cool allready can not do so? i suppose getting drunk at the lake infront of kids is still cool with liberals? Cause i see alot of pro get drunk with your kids chatter coming from liberals all the time. Fuck are these people even human or are they just to cheap to leave their kids with a baby sitter! fuck i swear the liberal and the conservatives got together with neo nazis and said how can we piss off the comunist. Don’t worry i’m sure i allready pissed of a gramar nazi making this comical point!
And the control over the masses continues furthermore! Reading this doesn’t scream ‘we want to re-habitate or help people stop smoking’ it’s more we can now by law subject anyone found smoking with fines (MONEY), humiliation and take away their freedom. Please , let’s not forget these are they very people who allow the production of tobacco into there country, simply ask yourself this, if smoking in public is that out of hand and if they truly want what’s best for us all, why do they continue allowing it into the country? Surely you would ban the product not the consumers rights? They know how addictive smoking is and they know millions upon millions of people smoke this isn’t for the good of children, it’s about control. End of.
That won’t help with passive smoking for children, now instead of getting a highly diluted bit outdoors they are at risk of being indoors with no breeze to carry any of it away. Not that parents should do that but not everyone is as thoughtful or educated as the next person…
Wtf they think its acceptable to make somebody eat cigarettes thats defo cruelty pure treating ppl who smoke differently!! Were not lepers for god sake yes is bad for your health but am pretty sure theres worse problems in the world than smoking should they not be addressed first, what about all the drug addicts that our children have to see walking about like total space cadets are they supposed to think thats a normal way of life because fir me (not everyone will agree of course) but that’s a worse sight to see Tha someone standing wit a cigarette in hand
Apparently smoking also reduces your ability to spell.
For anyone too stupid to see the clues, please scroll to the bottom of the page and read the Disclaimer.
Pure bullshit no one is going to tell me what I can and cannot do
This has to be the dumbest the “government” has been. You take away my rights and you will regret it. Smokeing is a lot better then hard drugs or being 3 times the legal limit for drinking. Heres the point. I.. Myself just like you.. Have every right as a US Citizen to tell you to go fuck off. Read the last paragraph on this news post. While your at it. Look at the picture just above it. This is not a democracy! What you are doing is slavery! People will retaliate and there will be a war. Its people like the one in that picture that are responsible for this madness. So i want everyone who reads this to know I HAVE THE RIGHT BECAUSE I AM A US CITIZEN. Fuck you and you stupid laws! The only reasons you cant regulate anything els is because it violates my right to have my personal life private. You nasty fuck ups need to get a life and stay out of everone elses! I will smoke wheni damn will please. And if u come to me about it i will blow it in your face. If you don’t like it the fuck off! You prius is more dangerus then my smoking. THIS IS AMERICA AND I HAVE MY RIGHTS!!!
Personally I think this should be done around the world
Some of these penalties can be deemed as abuse on an individual Which I believe most governments are dead set against. No matter where in the world you are any new policy or law needs to be correctly Marshalled. Educate with patience, not force and abuse the people who may not vote for the government who imposes these new rules. Personally I think their barmy and need to review the whole thing with a more sensible approach.
Mark
Swansea GB
Thts fair but disgraceful ?
LMAO – Canada is a free country and as long as the Government keeps tobacco legal there is no way anyone is going to get a fine for smoking between what ever hours they want. There are so many other problems in the country that cigarette smoking should be close to last on the list. We are over populated as it is in Canada and the US so if people are dying from this stuff it’s their own choice.. I can understand banning smoking close to parks and other places children play and in vehicles but not allowing people to smoke between 6am and 8pm is absurd. lol Good luck with that one. It’s just going to give people fines they can’t afford to pay.. find another solution would be a lot more simple. 😉
How ridiculous that you think that you can play god. It’s not ok to smoke in public but it’s okay for our government to put chemicals in our food and die of cancer, seriously! I agree that patios and playgrounds and other family oriented places sure no problem, but when is enough enough.
Thats got to be a wind up to a certain extent. The restrictions bullet pointed are absolute bull s**t and impossible to carry out. Must be a prank, either way pretty horrendous haha
under common law they have no right to do it , as long as you do no harm to anyone or there property. IGNORE these Fascists
I have just started to stop smoking at a clinic in my 5th week and the government have made the employees redundant now I am back to square one I think smokers need more help to stop if that are ready what are thay going to come up with next I wonder
I think being a fucking tory should be illegal.
Why u doing this for when u lot smoke yourselfs its a bit two face everything that u sell us is bad not just cigs just band any teenager buying them make sure there parents know we have our own minds not u to be telling us what to do when your workers probably smoking themselves on the quite maybe even u all u lot do I cause more grief to be people maybe that’s why we smoke cause theres no honesty in this world
I stopped reading after the 1st few lines as this is unreal. Is this a dictatorship or what? Whats next, when you can & can’t talk? What hours of the day are you allowed to walk, talk etc?
Suck bull shit my mom smoked around me n I’m fine this is just wrong what kinda shit is this can’t smoke outside first now we can’t smoke in our house if we have kids now we can’t smoke out side unless it’s after 8pm this is getting stupid just cause he doesn’t smoke doesn’t mean we all have to quit people have smoked in front of there kids for years n the kids tired out just fine look at ur parents grandparent this is all a plot to get more votes they all need to go to he’ll fuck u n fuck ur shit I’ll smoke were I fucking feel like it find me I’ll rip it up ass holes
C’mon people, this is a wind up (joke) and by the look of the result, it’s been a great one.
Is this true? Couldn’t find it on snopes.
Bahahaha this article almost had me until it listed the “other restrictions”. Thanks to the author for the good giggle!
Get off the cigarette kick and do something along the line of dope that kids can easily get and get high. Non-smokers are going to have to stop whining about people smoking in public, they can close their mouths and shut up. What about the people who drink.
This is getting to be bullshit the government is now starting to step on our human rights putting in place ridiculous restrictions meanwhile raking in the money and increasing tax on tobacco products and alcohol products we still live in Canada and we do have some freedoms or don’t you read the constitution in my opinion the government of Canada is a big joke feel like making laws just so they can be heard but really the good nothing intelligent to say and as far as vapor and goes dating is a safe as putting a vaporizer in the babies room when you’re sick or is it for your gifts that now to get a grip
Who is this fool,yes you are right smoking is not nice but it’s my choice to smoke or not,and I don’t but it don’t bother me if someone wants to.Do you not realize that NB is one of the province,s that has the highest rate of pollution,there are times the air is so heavy people can’t breathe,maybe it’s time to control how many factories can run at one time,do you realize how many car accidents happen due to people texting,maybe it’s time to get rid of all the cell towers,do you know how many people drink at family gatherings or sport games when there are kids there listening to foul language,or other people who had went though family crises due to alcohol.Fights breaking out after hockey games.I say you are going to see your ass before a judge more then once,when you try to find people.Grow up this is not going o buy you more votes,yes I do agree with banding cigarettes in restaurant,s.
OMG hilarious. There is clearly no law against stupidity…as clearly evidenced by all the commentors who don’t understand that this is satire….not actual news….and therefore just to be clear…IS NOT REALLY HAPPENING.
Loooool… I don’t think they realize!
Loooool… you guys don’t understand what satire is do you!