Trudeau tells Gallant to use ‘petkind’ instead of ‘cats’ and ‘dogs’

Trudeau tells Gallant to use ‘petkind’ instead of ‘cats’ and ‘dogs’

New Brunswick — Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was back in Ottawa Wednesday following a brief visit to New Brunswick, where after meeting with Premier Brian Gallant he seemingly pulled yet another politically correct all-inclusive term out of thin air.

“Well of course I introduced him to Blaze,” Gallant told The Manatee, referring to his family’s black lab. “I was excited for the two to meet each other.”

Gallant said that he had had his wife drop off the dog to him around lunchtime when Trudeau was in town.

“I thought it was going to be the best day ever,” he said. “The two cutest boys in my life were finally going to meet; I couldn’t have been happier.” Then a faraway look appeared in Gallant’s eyes, and his lip began to quiver. Finally, with an exasperated sigh, he added, “I don’t like offending him, but it’s just so hard not to sometimes.”

Gallant went on to explain that after bringing his dog up to the prime minister, he had simply said, “Justin, this is my dog, Blaze.”

What happened next the premier recounted with tears in his eyes. “I’m not sure where he got it, but he suddenly stood up on a literal soapbox and began to rant at me, going on about how it was offensive to ‘impose species’ on pets, and that his own dog [sic], Kenzie, a Portuguese Water Dog [sic], identified as a cat.”

The prime minister has been accused in the past of “mansplaining,” “virtue-signalling” and making up words. It seems that he is so eager to please the easily-offended that he goes out of his way to offend everyone else. From the over-the-top garbs he’s donned while visiting foreign countries to his outright support for gender-neutralizing the anthem, it seems he can’t go a week without causing his Conservative critics to roll their eyes.

“I love my dog,” Gallant reflected. “I love all dogs, and cats, and I certainly wasn’t trying to offend Blaze by calling him a dog. I’m just so confused now.”

The prime minster, in his scolding-yet-somehow-pussyfooting way, told Gallant that all dogs, cats, birds, fish, etc., should be referred to as petkind as opposed to their individual species’ name, as it is a more inclusive term.

  1. If you had told me this story two years ago I would have laughed and said it would make for a poor Grade B comedy movie, But today nothing surprises me when it comes to our illustrious Prime Minister. It is getting worse as time goes on. The Governor General of Canada is the only person to be able to remove him. maybe they need to spend some time together. How many sleeps until October 21, 2019, it can’t come quick enough for a lot of Canadians.

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  2. Andrew Klinzmann April 1, 2018, 9:39 am

    Exactly ! A prominent UK daily had a double-page full-colour spread on little Socks-and-Selfie boy; with the headline: The world’s most preposterous politician. And a sub-headline referred to “Lovely Locks – and – Pretty Socks” as possibly the most politically-correct person on the face of the earth. So when satire like this comes out, it literally takes a reader a few paragraphs before it dawns on him that it is actually SATIRE; and not simply one more dope-addled gaffe from our stumbling, bumbling apologist-in-chief….

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  3. this young fella is completely off his rocker folks!

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