New Brunswick — During Monday’s COVID-19 update from the New Brunswick government, Education Minister Dominic Cardy confirmed the long-lasting rumour that the only real reason to travel to Saint John is to get a slamming deal on chicken.
“We can all surely agree that COVID-19 sucks,” implored Cardy. “But, you know what also sucks? High chicken prices. The friggin’ Superstore had some on sale last week for 18 dollars per pack! On sale, for goodness sakes. I’m not paying 18 bucks when I can get the exact same thing in Saint John for six — COVID or no COVID.”
This statement sent social media users from the Picture Province into a frenzy, wondering how they can get in on this amazing chicken deal.
“Where do I get this amazing chicken deal that Cardy’s talking about?” tweeted @nbchickenfan.
“Six dollars a pack? That cannot be a real thing, can it? I’ve been buying that stuff from Walmart that barely looks like chicken to save money, but for six bucks, I don’t even really care what it looks like,” replied @imissbriangallant.
The Manatee pressed Cardy for more information about what we’re now calling “Chickengate” but he wasn’t willing to give up his secret chicken supplier.
“I got a little excited and said more than I should have,” he explained, backtracking. “Just forget what I said about the delicious, delicious chicken at incredibly low prices that you can only get in Saint John and nowhere else. Sure, it’s the only reason anyone I know goes there, but I’m sure you can good chicken at decent prices from your local suppliers, too.”
Saint John resident Charlie Ferguson was offended by the suggestion that chicken prices are the only reason to come to Saint John.
“Listen, that is insulting and just plain inaccurate,” he said angrily. “I think our meth prices are way better than everyone else’s as well.”