Saint John — Several months ago the Liberals had big plans for a recently vacated piece of land in New Brunswick’s Port City, including the building of a brand-new museum complex.
On Tuesday, however, it was announced that Premier Blaine Higgs’ Progressive Conservative government had some entirely different ideas for the space. Ideas which, they believe, are “far better than some dingy old museum.”
…And that is? Absolutely nothing.
“We’re very excited to be bringing nothing to the city,” Higgs explained to those gathered at the opening ceremonies earlier today. “Throughout the election, I campaigned on nothing. And, by this inaction, I believe that we are finally making good on these promises.”
According to Higgs, he and his government discussed several ideas for the space before ultimately deciding on nothing.
“The Progressive Conservatives have always stood for nothing,” he said, citing it as the primary reason he got into politics in the first place. “I worked for Irving Oil for 33 years, and what did that get me? Nothing. And that’s what I intend to share with the people of this province.”
Say what you will about his motivations, but it is hard to deny that the Higgs government works fast. Immediately following the announcement, Saint Johners were invited to walk over and see for themselves the big, fat nothing that their government had so dutifully provided for them.