Fredericton — The viewing platforms on the Fredericton walking bridge may be closed indefinitely due to rot, but the city has plans to create similar platforms on the busy Princess Margaret Bridge instead.
“We’ll be closing the Princess Margaret Bridge all of next summer for assessments, with the actual construction taking place over the following two summers,” said Wyatt Kerby, a city spokesperson. “We don’t want to rush it — but trust us, good things come to those who wait!”
Many Frederictonians are concerned that the new viewing platforms will spell danger for both motorists and pedestrians.
“Imagine walking across that death-trap just to gawk at the St. John River and take pictures! You’d probably get smoked by a transport truck!” exclaimed Martin Morris of Forest Hill. “And the view isn’t anything to write home about…unless of course you manage to work that element of danger into a bridge selfie…in fact dangerous selfies get the most likes. Huh, I dunno. Could be worth it.”
Others are concerned about their morning commute taking longer when the Princess Margaret Bridge, which has recently been closed for entire summers on end, is once again shut to traffic.
“I work over town and I am NOT driving all the hell the way along Riverside Drive to get to the Westmorland Street Bridge, waiting in line behind idiots for an hour every morning — and just so some yuppies can look out on the water with their binoculars,” fumed northsider Dave Sloat, a vein popping in his forehead. “No way! I pay my taxes!”
The Bill Thorpe Walking Bridge is a favourite place for bikers and pedestrians to take in the serene southside skyline from the viewing platforms. But city planner Kerby says these new viewing platforms, when they’re finally finished, will be so great they’ll obliterate any memory of the former ones.
“They’re going to be pretty sweet,” he enthused. “To address safety concerns, we’ll be adding a roundabout to the middle of the bridge to slow traffic and divert it away from the viewing platforms. And to anyone who’s worried about this whole thing not being fun, we’ve already confirmed with the premier that we’ll be hosting a monthly ‘Bungee Jump with Brian Gallant Day’ — now that should appease any thrill-seekers!”
Construction is set to begin June 2019.
I just love the roundabout addition, I will smile all day over that one.