New Brunswick — The Canadian Food Inspection Agency has issued a recall on Walmart’s Great Value brand popcorn after it was revealed that the manufacturers broke their sacred trust with consumers by including illegal insects in its ingredients. The recall was declared on Feb. 6.
Larry Boucher, Walmart Canada’s New Brunswick representative, is irritated with the government agency stepping in.
“Officially, the CFIA only allows 250 insect bits per kilo, I’m pretty sure,” said Boucher, as he twirled his butterfly net.
“But the pieces have to be chosen from their fancy list, so the Feds are getting all owly over our independence and right to experiment with our own fat of the land,” he continued. “We usually just throw in the legal house flies or beetles. You know — the generic bulk stuff. But recently we found a thriving earwig infestation in the manufacturing plant’s basement. Those local boys bring out the Great Value popcorn crunch our people expect and deserve.”
Unexpectedly, Walmart Canada has found support from communities across the province.
“I would much rather eat local, sustainable, non-GMO, non-factory farmed bugs — bugs that are free to crawl in their natural environment,” said one Fredericton Walmart customer. “We have no idea what pesticides these bugs have been sprayed with.”
The recent events have also put the spotlight on other Great Value products.
“Next thing you’ll hear is that we have one too many rat hairs in the peanut butter,” said a Moncton Walmart shopper. “They’ll take everything from ya.”