Irvings celebrate Thanksgiving with fireworks

Irvings celebrate Thanksgiving with fireworks

Saint John — Around 10 a.m. Monday, the Irving oil refinery in Saint John exploded in a dazzling display of fireworks celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday.

“Beautiful. Just beautiful!” exclaimed resident Bob Rinehart. “I was basting the turkey, when suddenly there was this crazy ‘Boom!’ and what I can only describe as a ‘bed-shaking’ reverberation all throughout the area. The whole family rushed to the window to marvel at this Thanksgiving miracle.”

“We intended it as a surprise for our dedicated, hardworking employees,” Irving Oil spokesperson Martha Killam told reporters, “which is why there was no notice of the planned display. We really wanted to shake things up!

“And we were pleased that there were hardly any injuries as a result of the celebration — a success in our books.”

By 10:30 a.m. Monday, police had ushered people out of their homes to get a good look at the spectacle, which was ongoing.

“Until we know for sure the area is back to being boring, we’d like everyone to remain outside their homes and not re-enter until we give the official go-ahead,” said Const. Jeff Dilbert.

“But shit, it really is pretty, eh?” he added, gaping at the lovely plumes of black smoke curling in the usually dreary skyline.

“Yeah, I really like the bright fall colours of the fire — all those reds, oranges, yellows. It looks so nice with the autumn foliage this time of year,” concurred spectator Sarah Lyle, snapping pics with her DSLR. “The timing couldn’t have been better.”

Irving Oil released an official statement about the Thanksgiving fireworks, saying it “could become an annual tradition, providing safety regulations remain unchanged.”

  1. usually I enjoy the Manatee but people were injured in this explosion. The artcle is in very poor taste and not a bit funny

    Reply
  2. Fucking pathetic! Get a real job, whoever wrote this.. I won’t take the time to read this bull shit a day after an incident like this but I’ll be sure to call you out on your insensitive bull shit.. You should be very proud ?

    Reply
  3. Nice article you piece of shit. Expose yourself you pathetic excuse of a writer

    Reply
  4. middlefinger.jpg October 9, 2018, 7:41 pm

    Not fucking funny. Remove my comment, but one of you cocksuckers has to read it.

    Fuck you.

    Reply
  5. I will be deleting themanatee from my news feed, this article is pathetic!! You should be ashamed of this disgrace. If it was attention you were seeking you surely get it!!

    Reply
  6. I thought it was funny.

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    • You must be the one yhat wears a pj ay walmart and empty the shelves at the end of the month so i cant get what i need for my sandwiches to go to work fuckin moron

      Reply
  7. Your mother would be so proud......... ? October 10, 2018, 11:15 pm

    This article is beyond disgusting! How can you sleep at night???? You mentioned that there were “hardly any injuries” what about all the staff that witnessed the explosion, they will probably deal with some sort of PTSD. I’m sure you’d probably find that funny too. Your mother would be so proud…….

    Reply

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