Fredericton — It’s every woman’s worst nightmare: being dragged to Canadian Tire by your dad or boyfriend or husband or brother. As unpleasant as these trips are, they are far more common than people talk about.
That’s why we at The Manatee have compiled a helpful list of ways to beat the boredom at Canada’s favourite tire retailer.
- As soon as you begrudgingly enter Canadian Tire, head straight to the Mark’s store. The clothes aren’t great, but at least they aren’t cleaning supplies. Maybe grab some T-MAX socks. *This tip applies only to the northside Canadian Tire, if you’re in Fredericton. If you get stuck at the southside one, you’re shit outta luck.
- Since you’re here anyway, you might as well get a gift card for your dad for Christmas. He won’t notice you buying it, because he’s way the hell off in the automotive section talking to some poor employee about wiper fluid.
- Check out the new colours of the KitchenAid mixers. The kitchen section is actually OK and you could probably kill a solid 15 minutes just imagining the big batches of bread you can make in that pastel-pink artisan mixer. We know, you’ll never really make the bread, but daydreaming is all you’ve got when you’re trapped at Crappy Tire for who knows how long. Beggars can’t be choosers.
- Wander the seasonal décor section. Whether it’s stocked with Halloween junk or Christmas lights, looking at these things for a while is obviously preferable to following your boyfriend around as he hems and haws over which air compressor to buy for his flat wheeler tire.
- Hit up the camping aisle. Check out those cool tents with multiple rooms and imagine the trips you’ll take next summer. Buy a Coleman grill or a thermal sleeping bag. No, you don’t need this stuff, but neither does your husband need any more PVC piping for his dumb DIY project — and that’s sure not stopping him.
- If you ever make it to the checkout, look at the “FRANK”-brand chips and candy, and wonder where this weird food is manufactured. It’s super cheap, though, so buy some to eat tonight while you scroll through Netflix.
There you have it! There’s no need to succumb to the boredom — use our tips and you’ll make it through your next trip to Canadian Tire like a pro.