Moncton — What was meant to be an enjoyable extended lunch break became a horrid meal blighted by the potluck offerings of employee Randall Stevens, sources said Friday. New hires of Trisonis Marketing were supposed to showcase their best recipes and celebrate their completion of training as telephone sales representatives, but one new employee ruined the joyous occasion for everyone.
“Randall brought a bag of No Name brand ketchup chips and a litre of ginger ale,” said fellow employee Amanda Brines. “Can you believe it? I spent 3 hours last night making millet casserole and the guy brings in ginger ale and No Name brand chips. Ketchup chips!”
Adding, “I was at Superstore last night and those chips were on sale for like $1.29; not that I would eat them, but god.”
According to the testimony of numerous colleagues who attended the potluck, Stevens’ potluck contribution was quickly met with shock, gossip and hushed scorn.
“I saw him bring the stuff in,” said Kyle Renford. “The chips were already opened and same with the ginger ale, only worse, the ginger ale looked flat — I didn’t see any signs of carbonation. I’m pretty sure it was something he just dug out of his fridge from god knows when, probably the last time he had a stomach flu.”
Making matters worse, the much reviled chips, described as greasy with an uneasy balance of tomato and vinegar, reportedly hindered others from accessing the more appealing potluck contributions.
“I really wanted to try Heather’s Swedish meatballs, but the ladle was smeared with ketchup chip grease,” said Paulette Jean. “I was going to grab a napkin and wipe it off but the napkins had chip grease all over the sides of them as well. Randall kept blowing his nose with them. He doesn’t seem to have any problem digging into everybody else’s food, pawing at the stack of napkins with gross ketchup chip hands and having no regard for anyone else.”