NBers admit they forgot to care about election results, follow up on who’s premier

NBers admit they forgot to care about election results, follow up on who’s premier

Fredericton — Calling the whole thing “confusing” and “in the past now,” New Brunswickers from all walks of life have admitted that beyond election night and maybe one or two days afterward, they stopped following or caring about their government.

“I can’t barely remember when or where I voted, let alone who won or what’s going on these days in the legislature,” said Moncton resident Dora LeClerc. “I got over it and moved on with my life.”

“So is Gallant the premier, or not? Is it Higgs? Can someone just give me a straight answer?” asked Frederictonian Jeff Allaby. “I don’t care enough to actually look into it, but I wouldn’t mind knowing…as long as the explanation isn’t too long.”

Many New Brunswickers say they’ve been halfheartedly trying to piece together what’s happening from news headlines and overheard gossip, but they all refuse to take even one more step than that to understand local politics.

“There was something about the Speaker of the House in the news last week — to be honest I never knew what that was to begin with…Did they ever find one, or make one or however that works?” asked confused Saint Johner Olivia Burton. “And didn’t the lieutenant governor say or do something a couple weeks ago, like I thought she was gonna decide who the premier is now? Did she ever get around to that?”

Minto resident Devin Smith seemed to have a more sophisticated than usual understanding of the whole ordeal.

“OK so I think it works like this,” he began. “The Liberals got more votes but fewer seats. The Conservatives got fewer votes but more seats. Or wait…maybe I messed that up. Anyways, there are three Green people and one of them is a farmer who doesn’t want to wear a tie. There are three…or possibly four…People’s Alliance MLAs, but the Blues and the Reds don’t want to deal with the Purples so they all want to get the Greens on their side. But the Greens are having none of that…for some reason.

“And I think Gallant is premier until he makes some speech or something, and then it might be Higgs, or both, or neither. Once he makes his speech, New Brunswickers can call in to a special hotline and rate the speech on a scale of 1-10. Wait…did that speech already happen?

“Ugh, I don’t even care anymore. It took too much energy to even explain that to you, to be honest.”


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