Ottawa — Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced that American products sold in Canada must now have Canadian names.
The move comes after Canada rejected U.S. trade negotiators’ demands for compromises on Canadian sovereignty and French language requirements, and tried to rebrand a Great Lake.
New Brunswickers have welcomed the news.
Susan Holt, premier of New Brunswick, said, “If New Brunswickers want to buy American liquor again, it will be Copain Leger and Jacques Daniels for sale in Alcool NB Liquor. If the U.S. doesn’t agree, I’m pouring all the old inventory in Lake ONTARIO.”
“I’m all for the Canadian names,” said Bruce Moose of Memramcook. “My car has Canadian parts, after all. I feel much prouder now that I’m driving a ‘Chevrol-eh!’.”
The Manatee spoke to New Brunswick mom Tammy Tourtiere from her kitchen in Tracadie. “Bye-bye Betty Crocker!” she said with a smile. “My kids love my Petit Croquer cupcakes even more now that they have a Canadian name.”
Over in Ontario, a special requirement has been added for one major American motor vehicle company. After much negotiation, the company finally agreed that all vehicles to be sold in the province will now be branded “Doug Ford.”
The U.S. president’s favourite burger chain has been busy updating all its restaurants’ branding in New Brunswick and across Canada. “It’s McMark’s now,” said Prime Minister Carney, “so deal with that, Donald.”