Fredericton — Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em because tobacco use in public is about to become more regulated than the Energy East pipeline. Today, Health Minister Victor Boudreau unveiled even more anti-smoking amendments to the Tobacco Sales Act — regulations that the minister claimed to be the most aggressive on the continent.
Last week, the provincial government released new measures to ban smoking from many outdoor places that may be used by children including restaurant patios, beaches, parks and sports fields. Also, new rules for e-cigarettes and vaping were announced, which will restrict those devices to smoking areas. This past Friday, the government subsequently revealed plans to prohibit the sale of menthol cigarettes as well as candy and fruit-flavoured cigarillos as of Jan. 1, 2016.
But, the Liberal government isn’t done with smokers yet. Today, they released additional tobacco use limits, the most restrictive and punitive in North America.
Starting July 1, smoking in public only will be a legal activity between 8 p.m. and 6 a.m. All types of public smoking outside of this 10-hour window are strictly prohibited, and punishable by a fine of $1,110. This restriction is to reduce the likelihood that a child will be exposed to secondhand smoke, and greatly reduce the risk of children witnessing the act of smoking.
Other new restrictions include the following:
- In addition to the fine, anyone caught smoking unlawfully will be forced to speak for the rest of the day using an electrolarynx, the medical device used to produce a robotic voice for people who have lost their voicebox due to cancer;
- Anyone under the age of 19 caught smoking will have to smoke the entire pack in front of an inspector, or eat an unfiltered cigarette and prove that they swallowed it;
- Each package of cigarettes now must include a simulated piece of diseased human lung;
- Citizens will be obligated by law to speak as sanctimoniously as possible to anyone seen smoking. The smoker must be told “you’re killing yourself” at least once every 60 seconds until the cigarette is finished;
- Smokers only can receive health care if they agree to wear a scarlet letter “S” on their hospital gown over their lungs while receiving services;
- The price of a carton of cigarettes will be increased to include the wholesale cost of an oxygen tank, which will be provided to local health-care facilities proactively on the smoker’s behalf.
At 20 percent, New Brunswick has the highest per capita smoking rate in the country compared to the national average of 15 percent. For those between the ages of 20 and 24, the rate is even higher at 28 percent. According to the Canadian Cancer Society, lung cancer accounts for about 25 percent of all cancer deaths in the province, and 85 percent of those cancers are caused by smoking.
“Smoking is set to become the most tightly controlled human activity in New Brunswick history,” said Boudreau. “As long as the government is paying for health care with tax revenue, we can justify just about any tobacco regulation and tax. So, we are just going to town on them.”
When asked whether there will be additional regulations on other health-adverse activities such as alcohol and caffeine consumption, unhealthy food, poor sleep, over-work, inactivity, lack of vaccinations, promiscuous unprotected sex, high-risk recreational activities, and poor oral hygiene, Boudreau was incredulous. “We can’t regulate those things the same way as smoking. This is still a democracy after all. I’m not sure what you are getting at.”
feel free to try nad arrest me for smoking in public i will beat your face in take your cuffs and arrest you for ignorance
You do realize this website doesn’t post real news/legit details right?
I am with you on this one Kristoffer Matthews
omg this is getting beyond a joke now. the government need to book their ideas up cos this country is going down hill again bring Margret thatcher back she will get this country sorted properly cos our government cant even run this country r8 he just fcks things up all time
Dude…. this is from canada… AND A JOKE
some people just really do not understand satire
Did anyone read the disclaimer at the bottom of the article? This is not real people!
they’re not stop it they can’t they don’t like it too f****** bad I’d like to see what they can to do the country of smokers they won’t do anything cuz they can’t it’ll get to the point where the cops it comes to them if they try to push that s*** sorry can’t stop it and ain’t going to happen
This is bullshit man . Smokers are humans to where are their rights . If you are outside smoking how can anyone get second hand smoke that is crape there is more problem out in this world. Then be worrying about the smokers. Why won’t ye work on about the crimes in this world and the people that are missing and the drugs on the street and everything esle. It isn’t even safe to bring your kids anywhere no more. Because u don’t know what is going to happen out there . So don’t be punishing the smokers go out and get the ones that is doing more harm ffs .
The health care will have to pay for visits to the hospital or family members because of worsening allergy symthoms, Rhinitis, astma ? c.o.p.d, lung cancer, heart diseases that are caused by smoking thickening the blood etc. and many other illness are now being linked or somehow caused by smoking. More hospital beds more doctors more equipment etc. If your smoking outside people may not be breathing your second hand smoke but if your doing with others such as teens or children your saying it’s Ok to smoke even if it kills you or others someday and causes huge expenses to the Health care system that could be used elsewhere. No one is saying smokers are not human just they are indirectly causing many problems that they seem oblivious to, to themselves and others. I don’t think eating cigarettes or butts are the answer two wrongs don’t make a right. I certainly agree that if you knowingly smoke and know the harm it can do and don’t care I think a person should suffer some consequences preferably a fine.
But they already suffer consequences (with their health), so why make them suffer even more ? Have you ever thought about how much the pollution caused by cars, motorbikes, lorries/trucks and planes affects your/our health ? You probably have a big car (2 litres or more). And then those still unfiltered things coming out of the chimneys of big factories, I wouldn`t call that healthy
Did anyone read the whole article??? It’s obviously a joke.
Maybe the government should where the shirt says I posion all theses people SMH stupid shit they come up with
I would think the idea here is if it’s a matter of emergency and the patient who doesn’t smoke may get taken first. To me some smokers seem to have the idea we all going to die someday. If they are aware of the dangers of smoking and continue. It is costing the government a lot for health care for smoke related symptoms and illnesses.
ban cars to as they give more fumes than ciggies
That is a different concern.
Lol. I am a smoker and I agree that passive smoking is a problem but it is worse to be in a car and driving for 10 miles than being In a room inhaling second hand smoke.what they do about that run them over dunmasses
The point where I get incredibly angry is when they say something about making a kid eat tobacco. Anyone anywhere comes near my kid, family member’s kid, friends kid, even a enemies kid…… Smoking related illnesses will be the last of their problems. True story….
Read the disclaimer people! It’s a joke!!! Duh!
even if it is a joke, Any public official even just hinting at such regulations should be sent to the US where these people truly take care of such idiots. Chretien said it best, Canadians are wusses, I love my country, it’s time to stand up for ourselves and effectively and permanently take care of politicians that even think of such laws.
You can have my cigar when you can pry it from my cold dead fingers
That can’t be pushed through its completely unrealistic being outside is public domain a rule like that is throwing away basic human rights we can’t be told no smoking outside it makes no sense there isn’t a lingering smell from it…
Fuck right off if you think its going to stop smokers it is not this country is becoming a fucking joke run by posh stuck up bastards wae silver spoons hanging out there gubs just another way to take money out of people’s pockets government is scum end of
Kay this is complete bullshit… what about people who smoke so that they don’t commit suicide. Would you rather people smoke in public or people start killing themselves…? How about you think about people and their mental health before thinking about those who have never been through anything like depression and are completely ignorant to it…
Did we not learn something from.prohibition? Alcohol causes more health issues and deaths than cigarette smoking. Smoking had never had supporting research it causes cancer. Look it up. All research states it is thought or believed it causes cancer. No study proves it did cause cancer otherwise would have not been there. There is conclusive studies to causing bronchitis and enflames bronchial passages that fill with fluid leading to CPOD. That’s it. The real studies findings. I’m tires of bullshit policies based on lies and then becomes a tax grab. If the government takes Hugh tax dollars on cigarettes and can not or will not show all that tax money is used for research treatment and health care are not really drug pushers. Mr government official : get your own house in order and get your facts truthful. Your embarking on civil uprising. How far does this go? Marshal law and then civil war? Look at our history books for examples. There is some truth for you.
Hopefully your comment is a joke like the article was. Alcohol doesn’t even come close to equaling the amount of complications and deaths that smoking does worldwide. Tobacco accounts for 10% of the world’s death rate while alcohol accounts for 3.8%.
I don’t live there but if I did, id fight this bs law, this is suppose to be a free country, the government forced us smokers outside, at first we didn’t like it but we got use to it, they knew this and decided to put more rules in, they don’t care about children or even if the child is in a vehicle while we smoke, its the health unit which is causing all this bs, and they have power and they are abusing their power,,i mean come on, smoking outside doesn’t hurt no one, unless that person is like right beside you ,like your shadow, that’s the only way they would get your second hand smoke, they didn’t think before they opened their stupid mouths, you guys cant smoke one little iddy biddy tiny smoke around kids in vehicles or parks, but then you can smoke a FACTORY of smokes in your home with 1,000 kids,I GREW UP IN A CAR WITH PEOPLE SMOKING, THIS WAS MY CHOICE not my parents, or my friends, MY CHOICE TO SMOKE, id be fighting this and having this stupid ass law put away for good, we were forced OUTSIDE TO SMOKE and that should be that period, the air takes away the smoke and second hand smoke, SO IM SAYING ……FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
Late April Fools …… Surely unenforceable !!
Is this happening in England hopefully they will be the ones to try this first
Is this a joke tho? So many people smoke and for other people to try stop them from doing what they wanna do is a piss take!! Human rights man???
Just “oh my god”
This I really stupid. When the ban is put in place, that means that less people will buy fags and bacci, that means that the government will Lose tons of money.
I will admit that I am a smoker and I really don’t like this ban.
Disclaimer:
ALL content (including likenesses, quotes, figures, facts, etc.) hosted on this website and associated social media accounts are fictitious and satirical and should not be taken seriously.
Please learn to read before getting self-righteous about your right to poison yourselves.
Please is this true or bull shit Please bring to qld And also ban smoking as cars drive into car parks of shopping centers
Haahhaa this is fucking hilarious everyone should just chill and realise this shit is obviously a joke without even having to read a disclaimer, everyone’s a hero on the internet these days…
Wait wut…. they can spray chemtrails into the air and not care but if a person smokes its a crime hmmm is it just me or does anyone else think whoever created this dumbass law needs to go take their face for a shite u can sit in ur offices and try create new laws all u want but u have no chance of me abiding by them stop trying to control earth let the people be free to live as they choose stop enforcing fabricated laws theres no such thing live how u desire fuck the system
Let’s start a riot , start a riot , lets start a riot !!!! Time for smokers to stand up for “OUR RIGHTS ” !
True or not this is ridiculous !!! Time for smokers to stand up for “OUR RIGHTS ” !
DISCLAIMER:
ALL content (including likenesses, quotes, figures, facts, etc.) hosted on this website and associated social media accounts are fictitious and satirical and should not be taken seriously
Read it joke
Wow!! Get a sense of humour (smokers) lol
Apparently, they don’t read others comments either, to realize that this is a joke. Not that the “other restrictions” list doesn’t obviously give it away. Maybe cigarettes also reduce your sense of humour as well as your sense of taste and smell. (Not to mention common sense to continue punishing your body with smoking chemicals – I know- I used to smoke too)
OMG, this’ll getting retarded! Why don’t they just make it flat out illegal & shut down the tobacco producers? Oh, cause they make too much money off of smokers & their “smoking related” illnesses! Hypocritical assholes…..
All the people who think this is real are making yourselves look like morons. This article and all of the rest on this site are FAKE. This is a FAKE news site. Like the Onion. It’s satire. Say it with me now, SAT-IRE.
this is a law that looks like it’s made by someone that neither smoke, drink or go to a party.
i smoke, it calms me down, if i do not have a smoke, there is a high probability that i will do something rash, like speeding, stealing, fighting and the like, just for the hell of it, i am not proud of it but that is the way i am.
if that law makes me go to jail just for not paying, i’d gladly do so, for i will use the time in jail to take a break from everything, and once i get out, i’d smoke right outside the jail, and i would not care.
and if people do not like me smoking in front of their children, let me know, i will walk further away, but i will not stop smoking, not ever.
Whatever next, no eating after 8pm, no chocolate, only at weekends!! I am not and never have been a smoker but find this ridiculous.
plot twist!!… it becomes real
Ur taking our rites away well c y don’t some y Don’t understand the pressure people r going through with the lack of money and stress
Glad it is a hoax, don’t take it serious you smokers they really haven’t gone this far YET!
Is this real? If so why are cigarettes still being sold and is there any hrt therapy to be given to those who are found smoking ect some of these things I really don’t argee with like making a youth eat or smoke a whole pack or making them more toxic as it can make people even more ill and if they are addicted to smoking it isn’t as easy as to just give up so people need support
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ALL content (including likenesses, quotes, figures, facts, etc.) hosted on this website and associated social media accounts are fictitious and satirical and should not be taken seriously.
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Speaking from a non smokers view this is such bull. What next? No eating this and that before noon? No wearing certain clothes?. This law is taking a way human rights. Okay ya I understand secondhand smoke being a concern. But worrying about children seeing people smoke and being influenced? How about teaching your children the consequences of smoking
it is such a stupid idea try to stop people who smokes it is suppose to be a free country
Against the UDHR that is. And the US signed it.
Who the f**k do these people think there are just cause there got problems at home don’t try and rule us cause this whole system is messed up if people want to smoke then that’s there choice not yours and once apron a time could smoke anywhere and it was stopped so tabs end up everywhere and anyway so the more things you try to change the more people will go against it YOU WILL NOT WIN! FACT
I think this utter bullshit if they do this then they are harming not the people who smoke but the taxes they take off cigarettes they would lose to much money and they would be fucked without it I smoke myself and I don’t care what they try and do it won’t make me quit smoking
I will smoke when I feel like it as I am a human and I have rights you say we can’t smoke in pubs because of the non smokers if they have a problem with it why can’t they go out side and now your trying to say if I work for my right to buy what ever I please on my break I can’t have a cigarette during that break as I work from 8:30 till 5:30 well you can do one I pay for myself I pay my taxes I pay for every right to smoke when I please if you have a problem get over it life’s a bitch
You have no right to tell us what to do! E-cigs and vapors AREN’T the same as smoking cigarettes or a pipe. YOU’RE STUPID! Both my brothers and father smoked around me and I DON’T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS except HEREDITARY asthma! The non smokers have no right forcing their beliefs on others!
can we say discrimination? because someone does not like what you are doing, does not mean you can tell anyone what to do because you do not like it. what about no drinking until after 8:00 PM ?
this is pathetic your handing out a signed register for pedophiles rapists letting every Tom dick an Harry into are country forcing British ppl to work for shit money a giving imagrants houses an loads of money to life in are country an your worrying about a fag get your priorities right ye pathetic bell