Fredericton — Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em because tobacco use in public is about to become more regulated than the Energy East pipeline. Today, Health Minister Victor Boudreau unveiled even more anti-smoking amendments to the Tobacco Sales Act — regulations that the minister claimed to be the most aggressive on the continent.
Last week, the provincial government released new measures to ban smoking from many outdoor places that may be used by children including restaurant patios, beaches, parks and sports fields. Also, new rules for e-cigarettes and vaping were announced, which will restrict those devices to smoking areas. This past Friday, the government subsequently revealed plans to prohibit the sale of menthol cigarettes as well as candy and fruit-flavoured cigarillos as of Jan. 1, 2016.
But, the Liberal government isn’t done with smokers yet. Today, they released additional tobacco use limits, the most restrictive and punitive in North America.
Starting July 1, smoking in public only will be a legal activity between 8 p.m. and 6 a.m. All types of public smoking outside of this 10-hour window are strictly prohibited, and punishable by a fine of $1,110. This restriction is to reduce the likelihood that a child will be exposed to secondhand smoke, and greatly reduce the risk of children witnessing the act of smoking.
Other new restrictions include the following:
- In addition to the fine, anyone caught smoking unlawfully will be forced to speak for the rest of the day using an electrolarynx, the medical device used to produce a robotic voice for people who have lost their voicebox due to cancer;
- Anyone under the age of 19 caught smoking will have to smoke the entire pack in front of an inspector, or eat an unfiltered cigarette and prove that they swallowed it;
- Each package of cigarettes now must include a simulated piece of diseased human lung;
- Citizens will be obligated by law to speak as sanctimoniously as possible to anyone seen smoking. The smoker must be told “you’re killing yourself” at least once every 60 seconds until the cigarette is finished;
- Smokers only can receive health care if they agree to wear a scarlet letter “S” on their hospital gown over their lungs while receiving services;
- The price of a carton of cigarettes will be increased to include the wholesale cost of an oxygen tank, which will be provided to local health-care facilities proactively on the smoker’s behalf.
At 20 percent, New Brunswick has the highest per capita smoking rate in the country compared to the national average of 15 percent. For those between the ages of 20 and 24, the rate is even higher at 28 percent. According to the Canadian Cancer Society, lung cancer accounts for about 25 percent of all cancer deaths in the province, and 85 percent of those cancers are caused by smoking.
“Smoking is set to become the most tightly controlled human activity in New Brunswick history,” said Boudreau. “As long as the government is paying for health care with tax revenue, we can justify just about any tobacco regulation and tax. So, we are just going to town on them.”
When asked whether there will be additional regulations on other health-adverse activities such as alcohol and caffeine consumption, unhealthy food, poor sleep, over-work, inactivity, lack of vaccinations, promiscuous unprotected sex, high-risk recreational activities, and poor oral hygiene, Boudreau was incredulous. “We can’t regulate those things the same way as smoking. This is still a democracy after all. I’m not sure what you are getting at.”
Who is this fool,yes you are right smoking is not nice but it’s my choice to smoke or not,and I don’t but it don’t bother me if someone wants to.Do you not realize that NB is one of the province,s that has the highest rate of pollution,there are times the air is so heavy people can’t breathe,maybe it’s time to control how many factories can run at one time,do you realize how many car accidents happen due to people texting,maybe it’s time to get rid of all the cell towers,do you know how many people drink at family gatherings or sport games when there are kids there listening to foul language,or other people who had went though family crises due to alcohol.Fights breaking out after hockey games.I say you are going to see your ass before a judge more then once,when you try to find people.Grow up this is not going o buy you more votes,yes I do agree with banding cigarettes in restaurant,s.
OMG hilarious. There is clearly no law against stupidity…as clearly evidenced by all the commentors who don’t understand that this is satire….not actual news….and therefore just to be clear…IS NOT REALLY HAPPENING.
Loooool… I don’t think they realize!
Loooool… you guys don’t understand what satire is do you!
I think that’s a very good idea n i no people won’t like it but hey ho they obey da law p
I think that’s a very good idea n i no people won’t like it but hey ho they must obey da law
so you like being told what to do Mrs. Henry shut
up and grow a pair.
People have the right to smoke and maybe u should not put ur 2 cents in since your not a smoker. I wouldn’t even speak about it so shut up and keep ur comments to your self !!!!!
Get a grip of urselfs who on earth do people like you’d think u are tellin people what they can and can not do concentrate on ur own lifes stop interfering on others !!!!!!! U will be tellin people next what u can eat *wen u sleep * when to work*its a disgrace what happened to freedom of life if the big man upstairs didn’t say it (god) then what right do u people have to interfere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m going to say wot a croak of shit I myself have seen many family members die from cancer and they have never smoked in there lifes …. We are all born with some cancer in us and even stress can trigger it of so why does smoking always get blamed
ok enough…i hate these satire websites. I am fed up with seeing this bs news ish…i hope when /if that new internet policing law passes this crap is removed
Sometimes I sit back in awe at the stupidity of proposed legislation or that which is pending and think to myself how society has changed through the decades. There was a time in my youth when living was simple and right and wrong were distinct yet through the years that have passed politicians have taken what we once considered the status-quo and perversely corrupted all the traditional values that once made this nation a world leader rather than what it now has become.
Oh, you mean when life expectancy was 30 years, and women weren’t allowed to vote or a right to bloody anything, and children were abused by whoever? Yeah, great times.
Dictatorship, you can’t do anything you can’t say anything. I’m not a smoker but feel everyone should have a choice not told what to say or do!! Politician’s get a grip and see to the important things such as the homeless, the NHS and migration!!!
This is what is classed as a troll. Basically a fairy tale put together so the user can entertain him/her self reading the agitated replies. Do not fool for it and just enjoy the joke and laugh to yourself over it. It would be very comical for the police trying to enforce this.
OMG They are Crazys.And Getting cared away with this smokeing thing.Not a free country Any more.
Sure but its ok to drive, have bbqs on the deck, burn a wood stove and have a refinery piss its toxins. The bastards didn’t mind sending crate loads of them to the troops during the war to fight for the freedom we are slowly losing today. If they would like to set an example for children it would be nice for these assholes when making campaign promises to keep them rather than show our children the art of deceit and lies.
Negative cancer cells growth can be courses by many sources, worse are from pollution and also radioactive, chemical, manufacturing industries. Maybe by looking into the percentage of cancer patients, there can be a huge numbers of non-smoker. Some didn’t even have a chance to inhale a second hand cigarette smoke. Probably, environmental enforcement should be primary to focus with.
I would imagine all the growth hormones and preservatives in our food contribute also!
This most likely coming from a reformed smoker. I have never heard of so much bollocks in all my love. Lets get rid of cars and motorcycles and buses while your at it. Those fumes can kill. Get a effing life and shut the hell up.
Why are smokers being punished for having a fag I’m a smoker and have to walk to work and enjoy. My walk with a fag
politicians come and go his butt won’t last long in office and would like to see them try to stop me.
I Am a smoker and also I work I pay for them I go to work early and when you wait public transport. Concentrate on other things law you change either stop selling them and making big profit on tax you make or leave people to have choices stop making feel deprive off human rights act 2010 read up let asake our own choice government
This is bull crap . People should have the right to choose whether or not the want to smoke cigarettes in their own vehicles in public . That is taken our right to be be our own person away . So much for Declaration of independence or Civil Rights . The world is going straight to hell in a hand basket . God made tobacco .
Doesnt sound like a demacracy so much but more like a dictatorship or after school detention we are adults i will smoke on my own property when i want such naziism stupid power mongurs
What the fuck happen to are freedom? It’s slow getting take away from us. There is no one who’s going to tell me when I can smoke were I can smoke I will smoke were the fuck I want to when I want to and we’re I want to. There not a dam thing u stupid fuckers can’t do because I will not let it happen. So fuck u and your stupid smoking band.
I think it is fine to have laws against it however there should be all free clinics and patches etc available to help us quit. But no u wanna charge out the ass for anything to help break the habit that was created to make money for the damm govt as well. Why don’t u empliment the cancer cures that u have ? They are there and u know it. Why is the govt Killing us anyway. Taking God’s work into ur own hands. I think is ridiculous. It looks like to me with the poison that u have added to cigarettes u would be promoting it. Talking out both sides of your mouths as usual. Go spend money somewhere to help people.
I think as a smoker they should QUITE SELLING ALL CIGARETTS COMPLETY
Let me start my reply by informing the readers of this, that I am a smoker, I enjoy smoking, but the fact that I know it’s just STUPID to smoke is evidence in it self that these so called RIGHTS of mine are misused. I feel everyone has rights, but since smokers can’t decide to do what’s smart for everyone and quit on their own then I employ what the Government is trying to do. Some may look at it as taking away a right, but a right for whom or what? The rights for non smokers have never even been given to them.
This so wrong we are of age to smoke and should all smoke when we want to
This is bull shit might as well say u can’t use the bathroom until u go to bed. This jerk should lose his place.
Thank God as someone with asthma really bad standing at a bus stop waiting for the bus that’s something I really dnt wanna smell ppl dnt understand that second hand smoke is really bad for ppl with asthma and kids with it like I love this rule makes a lot of since to me
Soon when you fart in public you will be charged a hafty fine for poisoning others. WTF this country getting in too. DICTATOR SHIP MY ASS…
Learn how to spell if you’re going to make a comment! It’s sense not since
Disclaimer:
The Manatee is a satirical news site offering fictional, critical observations of popular culture and current events. It is intended to be humorous with a harsh dose of reality. Any interview subjects’ resemblance to a member of the public not in the public eye is purely coincidental and should not be taken seriously. Quotes and stories from real people in the public eye are fictional and intended for satire only.
IT’S A JOKE PEOPLE.LIGHTEN UP.And please learn to spell.
Our Government have lost their freaking minds. Where do you think most of the tax money that people pay and you use for your big checks comes from!!
This is obviously fucking fake hahaha
All I can say is FUCK YOU and I don’t even smoke but I don’t vape & that isn’t. Smoke you twats!
I think it’s all Bull! If you don’t want people smoking than why the Hell did you make tobacco in the first place. I grew up around second hand smoke all my life. There is so many people I know that has smoked all their life and have passed. They never had cancer. I have a chance of getting cancer and I don’t smoke. It’s from the acid from acid reflux. Cancer isn’t only from smoking. As far as telling people they are killing themselves well that’s their life and if they choose to smoke then, who are we to tell them. I’m a diabetic and if I don’t watch what I eat I am killing myself. So give me a break, It doesn’t matter what we do we will all die one day whether we are healthy or not.
does this mean we cant even have a ciggy in our cars. this is an outrage as someone said they should sort out things that need sorting out befor picking on petty things like smoking. the soldiers, homeless, getting more people in to work, helping the diabled alot more, NHS, and lots of other things they can be looking at befor picking on the smokers. OPEN YOUR EYES GOVERNMENT AND GET YOUR PRIORITIES RIGHT ….FOR HEAVENS SAKE
I understand not smoking around kids and restraints and beaches but tell you what some trys telling me I have to eat a cigarette I bet I beat the living shit out of them cop or not who ever is making the is laws you can definitely go fuck your self cause I’m breaking every law you put iinto affect enjoy your new found war cause there’s a he’ll of a lot more smokes then there are you fuckers
This is totally NOT right!
Yes I am a smoker, but that is not why I don’t agree with this screwed up government ruling, we can’t watch our children 24/7 like you guys obviously think we can. So there is no frigging way of stopping a teen from smoking and noone in their right mind is going to stand by someone smoking and repeating to them that they are going to kill themselves. Grow up and actually put the stricter laws out for something no government official actually cares about and that would be drinking and driving. You are a bunch of morons if you think smoking is a more important issue then drinking and driving. Every year myself and my mom attends a memorial for MADD in grandfalls NL because my family lost a brother/son to a f’kin idiot drunk driver in Ontario and every day someone dies or gets injured by a drunk driver. Grow the fuck up, I always said our government was f’ked up and you prove it more with every stupid ruling like this.
I think our government needs to focus more on people being injured and killed by drunk drivers then people smoking. In 2000 my family lost a son/brother/uncle to an idiot drunk driver in Ontario and every year we attend a MADD Memorial in Grandfalls NL, Canada. Just because it has almost been 15 years that does not mean that it has gotten 100% better,,he was only 30 years old and didn’t deserve that and neither did the 19 year that was in his car and was also killed and 3 others were injured in that same car…
Regarding smoking yes I do agree with the no smoking around the public places where there are children around. All these rules that are suppose to be coming out are retarded to say the least. If people want to smoke then that should be their choice as long as they don’t smoke around children. I get upset when I see teens smoking yes, but we has adults certainly cannot watch our children 24/7. Do you as a government expect parents to have a ball and chain locked onto the teens? If you do then you most certainly DO NOT have children of your own. People die from cancers everyday and believe it or not some of those have never smoked a day in their life. So, what right do you as a so called government have to take away a persons right to smoke or not, NONE, ABSOLUTELY NONE.
You as a government is most certainly not keeping my faith in you at all. It’s bad enough a low income person(such as myself living on a low income through Canada Pension Disability) has to live without most things in life to live properly and healthy and pain free(which I haven’t been pain free since being put off of work about 7-8 years ago, and I’m now only 46).
seriously how the earth can these policies stop over a billion people smoking outdoors what a fucking joke
PEOPLE PEOPLE this story is a joke.Its not real.
What if parents smoke at home. They are then exposing second hand smoke.
This is way to over board. If its a problem get rid of everything that could likely cause health problems.
Cars.
Coke(drink).
Alcohol.
And all the other things the government supposidly wants to abolish.
I agree that smoking in front of children is horrible, however if you bane it completely in public areas how do you expect smokers to not smoke in their home while they have children either living with them or visiting. I feel they should go a step further and make it a law that states that smokers should smoke outside as long as there are children in the house otherwise it’s child abuse, and also I feel that non smokers that are visiting a smoker have a right to speak up and ask smokers to smoke outside and respect their company by doing so. Sadly I myself have had that problem in the past with smokers and more than half of them don’t have any respect at all. I know however not all smokers are like that. Just those that are like that give the respectful smokers a bad name.
Well, someone must have have been on crack when they past this law. So People who have kids and go out to smoke will now have to smoke inside with their children ? Uhm reality check !! There is so many toxins in the air now.Trying to control People with smoking is least of worries and just another way to spend tax payers money. What are you going to do after the smoking law ? Pass one that no one will be able to drink in public. My father passed with colon cancer and had not smoked in over 30 years.So what are you going to blame his smoking when he was younger gave him colon cancer.He didn’t stick the smokes up his butt. I think you should go back to the drawing table and come up with something else.Like helping our homeless or making it easier for parents to seek mental health issues for their kids who could use it.
this is dumb your out side i dont see how this is going to help just stop makeing them
I’m not a smokmer and I think that is a lot of bull crap
This is actually a terrible idea, this is one major contributor to the revenue gained by our government. They place a hearty tax on cigarettes to earn revenue in which they can spend on education, infrastructure and healthcare. Sure people will be more healthy, but in the end people will still smoke, they’ll just do it illegally. There is more benefit for the government and the economy in general if there is no ban on smoking hours so to speak
You will never get my vote on this. It’s torture and awful. My honest opinion shove this law in you juice box full off heatly lungs and suck it.
Because people are really going to follow this!!!! I don’t see this happening and I don’t see why smoking is that bad in public its worse in there homes.. So what are you gonna stop people from smoking in there homes too. No didn’t think so!
this is really stupid telling people they cant smoke in those hours whats next no eating, no having sex or no working in between certain hours this is just down right funny what will the government do next thank god I don’t live there
Use govements are perthetick saying all that shit im not being funny but forces people to eat a cig if they smoke under 19 is ring and child abuse and saying u add human deses lung added to the cigs.and baccie what u trying to do kill us u sick basterds and il tell ya u see my sum smoking under 19 and u do that and force him il take use to the doctors and u can tell them why he is ill this hole thing is rong and the lung deses added your going to have morr deaths then anything
Right on!!
remember folks – the actual law (the one exaggerated upon by this site IS real – http://www2.gnb.ca/content/gnb/en/news/news_release.2015.06.0585.html.
Everything from the third paragraph down is satire.
haha great news….. if u want to smoke you can no one is stopping you just follow the rules and no problem and you say that you pay taxes and such well that don’t mean u can go out and kill some one rules are rules damn i glad i stop smoking 8 yrs ago now a little more fresh air for people to breath HAHA this should have happen a long time ago
Reblogged this on The Last Furlong and commented:
Oh I had such a good laugh at this! Thought you might enjoy it too. Tobacco Control is almost this..
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