Cambridge — Despite years of repeatedly stating that he would not, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has finally added photos and videos to his popular text-based social media sites.
“We assumed people would be satisfied with the lush, evocative text descriptions of what people ate yesterday,” Zuckerberg stated, “but I guess in today’s fast-paced world they would rather just snap a picture. Who would have thought?”
Local business owners rejoiced as they no longer have to resort to vague descriptions about their products.
“I was spending three to four hours a day writing descriptions,” Chuck Doogan of Grand Falls said. “These vape pens all have their little eccentricities and personalities and I feel like the written word is not enough to showcase them.”
Up until today Facebook was famous for having profiles centered around a rough description of someone’s face. Controversy dogged the site last year for deciding to allow emoticons but now it appears the floodgates have opened.
“People seem to be really taken with the ability to see and add photos. It’d be a shame if these photos were to disappear. Maybe we should save everybody’s personal photos to a secret database in the desert along with their credit card information and secrets,” Zuckerberg mused while rubbing his hands together ominously.
“Oh sorry, was I thinking out loud again?”