Unemployed New Brunswickers brag about their low commute times

Unemployed New Brunswickers brag about their low commute times

Moncton — More New Brunswickers may be out of work than ever, but that means that, as a province, our commute times are some of the lowest in the country, according to a Statistics Canada survey.

“I timed it once and it only took me 87 seconds to get from my bed to the fridge to grab snacks, and then to the couch to turn the TV on. Beat that, Toronto!” boasted out-of-work bartender Ryan Smith of Mountain Road.

“Now, that’s on a good day, if I’ve been doing my stretches and keeping in shape. In the winter you have to factor in turning on the heat, putting on my wool socks, grabbing a blanket from the closet — these things really add up and cut into my ‘me’ time.”

“I can usually get through the Timmies drive-thru for my double-double and Boston Cream in just under 15 minutes, and back home again well before Price is Right comes on. We’re talkin’ round trip!” exclaimed Riverview native Drew Holyoke. “Yeah, people love to complain, but in New Brunswick we have a great quality of life compared with places like Montreal where they waste all their time on buses or the subway getting to some job.”

Some unemployed New Brunswickers are factoring in their visit to Service Canada and to hand out resumés at local businesses as part of their commute, since to claim E.I. they’re supposed to tell the agency they’re looking for work at all times.

“I work at getting E.I. from 10 in the morning till 4 when Service Canada closes, and then I have to take the bus home which takes me 40 minutes each way,” lied Monctonian Neil Morneau, whose wife said he has his employment insurance deposited directly into his bank account every two weeks and spends the majority of his time playing Candy Crush on his phone. “So my commute time is 80 minutes a day.”

Others can’t afford a car or even the cost of a bus pass because they can’t find a job.

“I don’t have a car and don’t live near public transit stops, so that right there cuts my commute time down pretty quick,” said Mary LeBlanc, who “works” from home as a movie reviewer for her own blog. “If I need to get to Cineplex to research a film, I ask my brother or mom to drive me. Does that count toward my commute time?”

Statistics Canada representatives didn’t survey New Brunswick’s capital city of Fredericton, because they didn’t want to waste time driving there.

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