Bathurst opens gentlemen's club

Bathurst — Bathurst has opened a brand-new gentlemen’s club and the men of New Brunswick’s 7th most populated city couldn’t be more excited.

“Finally, a place where men can be men again!” gleamed Eric Johnston, one of the first members of the new club. “I’m so excited to have a place to hang out with my fellow gentlemen, and just do nice things for people. All of my regular friends are real jerks and I have to act like them most of the time or they’ll make fun of me and make me feel like I’m not a ‘real man.’”

The club’s owner, Peter Halloway, said that he wanted to create an environment where men weren’t afraid to be themselves. “There’s so much pressure on men to be arrogant, and rude and just plain ignorant to everyone and everything around them in today’s world,” he told The Manatee in a polite and pleasant tone, straightening his black fedora. “It really is true — nice guys finish last, and that’s something we want to change. We actually have a sign here at the club that reads ‘Nice guys finish first,’ and it’s something we want to believe, and we want others to believe too.”

a_gentleman_is_always_prepared_by_valdevia-d626993“The club is open from 8 in the morning until 10 every night, but if anyone ever wants to come outside of those hours, all they have to do is ask and I will be happy to oblige, as it’s the gentlemanly thing to do,” said Halloway.

“The mornings are used for us gentle-sirs to go around the room saying nice things about one another, whether it’s about your appearance, or something that you’ve said or done — just anything we’re able to nicely recognize. We do that until we start preparing for lunch where we serve a meal to a different group of people every day throughout the week.”

The club prepares and serves lunch to local seniors’ homes, church groups and anyone else who might be interested. The club charges a modest fee of $5 per plate and entertains guests with charm and chivalry throughout their visit. The club makes most of their money every Friday night when it hosts “ladies’ night.”

“Ladies’ night is a lot of fun,” said Halloway with a kindly smile. “We have an open house for women to stop by, and we’re just really nice to them — some women will pay a lot of money for men to be nice to them.” When asked whether the men have ever begun a relationship with any of the women at ladies’ night, Halloway blushed a little and said, “Well, gentlemen would never kiss and tell, but no, not to the best of my knowledge. M’ladies aren’t romantically interested in us gentle-sirs in the slightest, despite how nice we are.”

Sarah Black, a regular at ladies’ night, confirmed that statement. “I like going there and being treated nicely, but I couldn’t see myself ever dating any of those guys — they’re just too much like ‘white knights.’ No one ever directly comes on to me there at all. They just do you favours and expect you to make a move.”

Halloway has yet to give his club a name; he said a few have been suggested to him, and he doesn’t want to offend anyone by not choosing theirs. The club is accepting new members and applications can be hand-delivered to you by a man in a suit who will bring you a cup of coffee and a croissant in exchange for a hearty handshake with lots of eye contact.

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