Cannabis NB continues to face stiff competition from Matt in apartment 6b

Cannabis NB continues to face stiff competition from Matt in apartment 6b

New Brunswick — High prices and poor selection are the two main problems facing the Crown corporation Cannabis NB, which after two full quarters lost $12 million, lagging far behind more robust marijuana sales by the other Atlantic provinces.

“Unfortunately, despite our best efforts we simply cannot compete with Matt in apartment 6b — you know, that guy in the old East Side hat, off-white ECKO hoodie, and whose jeans are falling off his ass — in price or in selection,” said New Brunswick Finance Minister Ernie Steeves. “We’re not sure what he’s doing exactly, but his sales are just through the roof. And we haven’t been able to attract any of his customers to Cannabis NB.”

So, what’s so great about Matt?

“For starters he’s a lot more reliable than other dealers,” said Jeff Brigsby of Fredericton. “You don’t even have to text him a lot of the time. You can just walk over to his place and he’ll turn off the Xbox, and treat you like you’re his only client in the world.

“Half the time he’ll roll one up on the stack of Domino’s boxes he uses as a coffee table and smoke one with ya right then and there, free of charge. The customer service is exceptional.”

Amy-Beth Davidson agrees.

“Some dealers make you go out to some gas station in the middle of nowhere, get you to drive around with them, then give you this shitty product. Or they’ll agree to meet you somewhere and then just never show up. But not Matt — he’s around day or night, and he has everything you could want. Apartment 6b is where it’s at.

“Oh, and if he hasn’t heard from you in a while, he’ll text you from his new burner phone and tell you what specials he has on. He’s a pretty caring guy. Can Cannabis NB do this? I don’t think so.”

Many New Brunswick consumers have expressed unhappiness over the amount of packaging used by Cannabis NB.

“But with Matt, there’s no packaging at all,” added Davidson. “He’s environmentally conscious. There’s no warning labels and instructions and plastic to throw out. He’s very green.”

Premier Blaine Higgs said that unless the province can get Matt on the team at Cannabis NB, the outlook is bleak for the Crown corporation.

“I texted him but he kept replying ‘new phone who dis’ and when I told him I’m the premier and wanted to talk to him about a government job, he stopped answering,” said a perplexed Higgs.

  1. ?????

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    • I went there to see the product couldn’t even get inside the building without my ID but I went next door to NB liquor and bought some booze what’s wrong with this picture and I’m 47 years old I don’t look close to 19 at all

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  2. If you guys are looking to hire a consultant I’m available

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  3. I’m sure the Mexican Mob could help out with your supply issues

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    • I was is bathurst nb and 5 ask for hemp cbd/OIL , hempworxpowerfulCBD ON THE PLANET

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    • In NB it’s like walking into a prison. You show Id to someone sitting behind a glass room then they only let a certain amount of ppl in this huge room at a time. I asked why and the lady said it’s too make u feel more welcomed and comfortable. My arse. In NS u go to the liquor store n go to a seperate area just like getting beer for the chill zone. Stand in a line pick ur weed. Everyone is usually amazing super nice and knows their stuff. If I lived in NB I’d still get from a dealer.

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  4. Why don’t you just spend our money on hospitals and schools and road like you were voted to do instead of ferry tale business that we don’t belong in ! Millions could have been spent much better helping people ! Wish we could be listened to ……Dave

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  5. Also the hundreds of thousands of dollars they wasted making those entry ways to the store I meaN COMMMONNNN!!!!

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  6. Bring back 25 dollar ounces, nickel and dime bags sales will boom, the underground will die out.

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  7. Privatize and sales will soar and our province will benefit. Too much red tape to become a grower. Should be like a micro brewery. Their are people who have been growing for decades and can supply the demand all around the world. NB can be a major player and producer. But if it’s just for the big corp. Well, Good luck!!!

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    • And now Heatlh Canada wants you to build out the total grow operation, say 1.5M before you apply for a licence. Crazy shit.

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  8. How in the f@#$ do you lose 12million dollars selling weed ? Not even if youre getting high on your supply can you lose 12 million dollars impossible! More government agencies ripping us off what else is new .

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  9. I don’t understand why NB didn’t send a few people to Colorado and then copy their business model. Then private companies and the government (thru taxes) both make money and everyone’s happy.

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  10. Alfred Watson May 7, 2019, 12:22 pm

    There was sufficient weed to meet the needs of every user in N.B.BEFORE the gvt built those monstrous eyesores in the Province. The answer was to DECRIMINALIZE the stuff so the young people experimenting with it did NOT gain a criminal record to haunt them wherever they went.
    Anyone who ever worked in or around the incestous N.B. civil service knew beforehand the gvt was incapable of selling/ marketing/ supplying street drugs at a profit. There are too many empty pockets among their political friends to fill before they can realize a profit.

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  11. it only cost 25 cents to grow 1 gram ,,, this world is too money hungry :;;goverment greed

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  12. Jason Drapeau May 7, 2019, 6:36 pm

    Problem lies in the provincial government wanting a monopoly. The key would have been to privatize like BC. Sit back and take in money from licensing and taxes. There would be no deficit. Instead of letting people who know what they are doing run the mom and pop weed shops they delved into something they had no business in. They wanted the whole pie but ended up with a burnt crust. They screwed entrepreneurs out of a booming opportunity so good on them for failing.
    Cannabis NB offers 3 times the price for a 1/4 of the quality, gee wonder why they are losing money.
    Only the NB government could fail at dealing drugs.

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    • it is fine for them to fail but it is our money they blew through all the government people still got paid. it’s the taxpayer that is out all that cash!!!

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  13. I wasn’t allowed to bring my baby into Cannabis NB!!! But I can bring my kids into NB Liquor stores with no issue at all?? Lol They lost a customer for life right there!!! Like oh yeah I am going to leave my baby out side! Yeah Right!! Lol

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  14. Tyler Douglas May 10, 2019, 6:15 pm

    I have chatted with “Matt in 6b” about this. He does not trust the government and says they will use him to lock up his contacts rather than make him a valuable employee! And Given his story and background I BELIEVE him without a doubt.
    Mr Higgs, If you would like to discuss how to make this work I am always willing to help. I am no longer a smoker but being a severe cancer survivor I believe in it’s effectiveness.
    Contact me on FB Mr Higgs. You will not regret it.
    Tyler Douglas

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