Fredericton — A capital city resident made a major blunder this afternoon when he tried to renew his driver’s licence but accidentally ended up attending an original classical music performance.
“My wife said I’d have to go to SNB, so I googled that and plunked the address into my phone,” said Fred Byers, 52. “I grabbed some cash to cover the cost of the new licence, put on my good camo cap for the photo — I always end up looking like crap in those things — and hopped in my truck.”
Byers drove to the address he had found online, which was 686 Queen St., or the Fredericton Playhouse. “It looked like a big museum or something to me, but I figured it could be a dual-purpose sort of building,” explained Byers. “I walked in and the place was sort of hushed. I went up to the guy behind the counter, gave him my money and he gave me a ticket — it said ‘Symphonie Festive’ on it, but I don’t read French so how was I to know what I was in for? I thought was a voucher for a new licence. I didn’t see no lineup or nothin’, so I thanked my lucky stars for that.”
Byers was then greeted by an usher who led him to the front of the venue, where an orchestra and choir were assembled. “They started playin’ some kinda music, and it wasn’t AC/DC so I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I just sat there and waited for someone to tell me where I could get my new licence.”
Byers said as time wore on, he grew impatient with the wait as well as the strange music.
“I tried to text the wife and tell her that at this rate I’d be late for supper, but then some guy came up and told me to put my phone away during the ‘performance.’ Is that what my tax dollars are going to?!”
At press time, Byers was still enduring the choir’s performance, impatiently waiting for “the part where they give us a new licence.”