‘Hipster wannabe’ buys entire White Stripes discography at Secondspin, shocked to learn vinyl not compatible with iPhone 6

Fredericton – Local man Jonas Thompson, 29, was left “spinning” today when he purchased every White Stripes album on vinyl at the city’s new Secondspin records, only to realize he couldn’t upload the tunes onto his new iPhone 6.

“I waited in line for the damned thing – like I camped out all night at Future Shop. I think either Secondspin should give me my money back, or Apple should get with the times. I want to listen to White Straps on my iPhone, not on vinyl,” he said, blatantly mispronouncing the band’s name. “Everyone knows you only buy vinyl to impress chicks.”

It was obvious to Tyler Jenkins, who was working at the downtown York Street store today, that Thompson was a “hipster wannabe” and “clearly doesn’t know shit about music.”

“If he thinks he’s getting his money back, he’s got another thing coming,” said Jenkins with an exasperated tone. “The guy came in here this morning, strutting around like he owned the place, and bought every single White Stripes record we had. I asked him what he thought about Jack White’s solo stuff, and he’d never even heard of him. What a complete poser.”

Thompson plans to return his iPhone and buy a record player, since Secondspin refuses to budge on the issue. “Maybe I can get a girlfriend who actually knows music if I have a record player,” he said, trying unsuccessfully to shove the iPhone 6 into his skinny jeans’ pockets.

  1. ION has a turntable ( I have it) that you you connect you iPhone to turntable and upload the vinyl songs to your iPhone…or you can upload the vinyl to your itunes with the usb cord that come with the turntable and it will put the songs on your laptop and then you can put the songs on your iPhone

    Reply

Leave a Reply to Kirk Montrealer Cancel reply