Fredericton — The lazy, hazy days of summer are finally here, and that means it’s time for warm-weather dates with your longtime partner or an exciting new flame. There’s plenty to do in New Brunswick’s capital city — but you’ve definitely already been on these dates a thousand times and would rather just become a shut-in than do any of them ever again. Regardless, here are our top 8 Fredericton date ideas:
- Clay Café: Yeah, it’s for kids, but you could go there with your date if you really wanted to. They have air conditioning, so there’s that. But as soon as you walk through the door you’ll probably just remember the time you went there on a first date with some guy who made you pay because he conveniently “forgot” his wallet. What a cheap-ass loser. He’s probably still bringing girls there trying to impress them with his shoddy painting skills.
- That board game café: Again, mainly for kids, but some of you nerdy types would probably like to visit. It hasn’t been around that long, which is nice because that means you’ve probably only had like six dates there. That’s not that many. Play Snakes & Ladders this time! And try not to let the other nerds making out on nearby couches ruin the mood.
- A stroll along the Bill Thorpe Walking Bridge: Sure, you walk across the bridge every workday at lunch to kill time, but it’s somehow slightly less dull in the evening, at sunset, holding the hand of the one you love. Bonus points if you stop to take that exact photo everyone else has taken about 800 times of the Fredericton skyline with the church steeple and the Playhouse and all that.
- Movie night under the stars: This can actually be pretty fun, but make sure not to look anyone in the eye except your date, because Fredericton is a really small city and chances are there are at least three other people you’ve also dated who will be in the crowd with their new significant others. Remember when you came to this exact old movie with your ex and he was like “Let’s do this every summer” so you did, for the remaining three years of your relationship? Do you really want to sit through Casablanca again? I mean, it’s your call.
- The Beaverbrook Art Gallery: This is always a great spot if you want to nod somberly and murmur something pretentious in an attempt to convey deep interest in each painting of a rock or a tree or a pear that you’ve already seen countless times. Your date will also pretend to be an art aficionado, and you can both feel good about having done something cultural before you hit up the McDonald’s drive-thru for a Big Mac and McFlurry.
- Killarney Lake: It’s hot, hot, hot out there, and hitting the beach is the only surefire way to beat the heat! Also, if you lost your goggles or towel last time, you can look for them now among the Alpine bottles and cigarette butts in the sand. Probably don’t actually go into the water, though, unless you find developing swimmer’s itch to be a delightful date activity.
- Walking a dog from the SPCA: Wait a second…didn’t you take this very dog for a walk with your university boyfriend a few years ago? How has no one adopted her yet?? This bitch is giving you a weird look like she knows you. Just act normal and the dog will too — she’d pretty much kill to be out walking and not cooped up inside with all the other yapping mutts, so she won’t blow your cover.
- Coffee date at Read’s: …Too soon?