St. Stephen, Calais end bitter rivalry in face of trade dispute

St. Stephen, Calais end bitter rivalry in face of trade dispute

St. Stephen — The effects of the trade war between the United States and Canada have made their way to the border cities of St. Stephen and Calais, two areas known for their extremely acrimonious distaste for one another.

Rather than driving a deeper wedge between their communities, the dispute has actually served to connect the warring cities, neither of whom wish to fan the flames of animosity any longer.

“I never thought I’d see the day when St. Stephen and Calais would begin to engage in a civil discussion,” said local historian Deborah Ouellet. “Frankly, it makes me sick. Fuck Calais.”

For the past few hundred years, the two communities have engaged in several vicious squabbles, quarrels and disagreements, seemingly incapable of putting aside their prejudices and accepting their differences.

“Oh, you know, it was mostly just silly stuff,” said St. Stephen Mayor Allan MacEachern, referring to the ways this feud would manifest. “They would burn our crops, we would slaughter their firstborn sons. It was that kind of back-and-forth, quid pro quo sort of thing for the longest time.”

Now, finally, the communities are looking to end it. They hope that this is more than just lip service, too. This initiative has already reached may of the residents of St. Stephen, who are making a concerted effort to shift their view of their U.S neighbours.

“I’m ready to let go of my hatred,” said 64-year-old Rob Green, a man who has lived in St. Stephen all his life, refusing to cross the border not one mile (around 1.4 kilometres) from his home until quite recently. “When you get right down to it, there are good people everywhere.

“Like this one guy I met down there. Bob Gray, he’s a lobster fisherman,” Green offered. “Me? I’m an oyster fisherman. It’s a bit of a stretch, sure, but if you squint, you start to see some similarities.”

Officials from both communities say that they’re willing to move past their checkered past in order to foster better relations across both countries.

“I think the goal here is to recognize that we’re really not so different,” said Mayor MacEachern. “As far as I’m concerned, there are no hard feelings between our cities, and no reason we cannot continue our valuable cross-boarder relationship.”

He paused.

“But if one of them ever tried to touch my daughter, I’d fucking kill them,” he said, slamming his fist onto his desk.

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