Listicle: Top 12 things to do during the last week of summer vacation

Listicle: Top 12 things to do during the last week of summer vacation

Fredericton — For many New Brunswickers, the Labour Day holiday is the unofficial end of summer.

As the temperatures begin to cool and kids get ready to go back to school, everyone is anxious to squeeze some fun into the last weekend of summer vacation.

Based on The Manatee’s unscientific survey, here are your top 12 things to do during the last week of summer vacation.

  1. Finish your summer reading list…err, I mean feeding list. Twice-fried beer-battered seafood platter — you’re next.
  2. Hike the Fundy Footpath, then get your cousin to sneak in with their side-by-side to pick you up after 2.5 hours.
  3. Go to Parlee Beach to swim in the warmest saltwater north of Virginia…and then pee in it.
  4. See the “Flower Pot Rocks” at Hopewell Cape, and try not to kill the forest ecosystem with your “black thumb” like the flower pots at your house.
  5. When the tide is out, go for a walk on the ocean floor. Note, you have to actually walk…a Rascal scooter can’t get through that mud.
  6. Go fishing in the Miramichi River. Your big-mouth ass will love the smallmouth bass.
  7. Tour a brewery. It’s not alcoholism if you’re drinking off of your property, it’s “socializing.”
  8. Taste some locally made wines. Ha ha, just kidding. Gross. If I wanted to drink homemade wine, I’d stay home.
  9. Visit Magnetic Hill, but be careful. If you’re vaccinated, you’ll get pulled right out of your car sparking like a spoon in the microwave.
  10. Experience King’s Landing to relive a time when homespun ignorance and fairytale conspiracies were also commonplace.
  11. Go whale watching, but don’t retreat if one of those mammal-effers makes aggressive eye contact — kick them right in the blubber.
  12. Epic dare: Challenge your friends to chop up the world’s longest covered bridge with the world’s largest axe, then plant the axe on the world’s largest lobster.

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