Local busybody ruins lives for the greater good

Local busybody ruins lives for the greater good

Moncton — When Greg Heustis, 21, accidentally backed into a woman’s car with his truck and left a dent the size of a quarter, local eyewitness Ronda Doucette, 46, quickly stepped up to the plate.

“I saw the whole thing happen,” said Doucette, a true saint walking among us. “I was standing in the grocery store parking lot; I saw him back into the car and then pull away. I did see him write something down on a piece of paper and put it under the windshield wiper, but for all I know it could have been a swear word. Naturally, I called the police and gave them his licence plate number.”

Heustis, who has a part-time job as a checkout clerk, was leaving the Superstore in a near panic after hearing from his wife that their two-month-old daughter needed to be rushed to the hospital after running an unusually high fever. “Thankfully my baby girl is OK, but unfortunately the RCMP had no choice but to charge me with fleeing the scene of an accident despite the fact that I left all my contact information on the car I hit,” said a sobbing Heustis. “My licence has been suspended, and I don’t know if I’ll even be able to keep my job.”

Doucette said she’s no stranger to good deeds of this ilk. “I’ve always kept myself in close contact with the police in matters I think should concern them. Last month I saw some teens smoking pot in their car late one night. I called the cops, the teens were arrested, and they got what was coming to them.” The youths in question — all first-year students of St. Thomas University — are currently serving a 3-month sentence at Dorchester Penitentiary for possession with additional fines for disturbing the peace, charges which Doucette personally insisted upon.
“I hope their time in the big house will serve as a lesson to them,” said Doucette of the expelled university students with impressionable minds now spending each and every day among hardened criminals.

Some other ways Doucette has contributed meaningfully to society? “Well — and stop me if I’m bragging, here — on more than one occasion I’ve called my bank, and when the call-centre agent responded to my laundry list of requests with an impatient tone, I’ve asked to speak to their manager and gotten them fired. Thanks to me, that’s another minimum wage job that’s open to someone more deserving!”

Doucette claims she once ordered lunch at Tim Hortons, only to find a hair in her chicken salad sandwich. “I immediately got in line in front of everyone else and loudly proclaimed ‘Excuse me! Am I supposed to eat your hair?’ Well, let me tell you, that employee, who I believe is a single mother of three, was let go right then and there. Can you imagine if I’d just removed the hair and shut up? She’d still be terrorizing other innocent customers.”

The Manatee asked the valiant do-gooder for more examples of her deeds. “Well, I always report Facebook statuses that offend me,” she said. “I don’t even wait to see whether the person was justified in their opinion — I just demand they take it down before I contact the authorities. That way, I never have to see any points of view that don’t align with my own.

“I guess I just have a passion for justice,” concluded the brave tattletale.

  1. This lady needs to mind her own business. One day she will get what she deserves.

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  2. You need to find a hobby lady and mind your own damn business ! When someone like you comes up against someone like me the results aren’t pretty!!! You are a nosey, ignorant passive aggressive bully that I would LOVE to have a go at ! GET A LIFE and leave others alobe

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  3. Wtf is this persons problem?! Get a mother of three fired over a 4 dollar sandwich? And getting University students expelled over pot! How can this person sleep at night knowing how many peoples like they have screwed over.

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  4. none ya business November 11, 2015, 7:26 am

    She is a stupid C*NT bag that doesn’t deserve the city we live in or the air around it ….all she wants to do is ruin peoples lives well I hope karma finds her fast bcuz she has no respect that selfish witch …. If I was her mother I would be so ashamed of her ….ugh people like her piss me off and if id ever see her in this city I’d speak my mind to her face instead of commenting that’s for sure! Disgusting people like this don’t deserve crap

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  5. I’m a strong believer in consequences as well as abiding the law yet I find this lady’s “acts” of kindness somewhat inappropriate. I was taught growing up that if we don’t know an entire story & situation then we shouldn’t attempt at making it our own personal business. I raise my own teenagers ty o be respectful of others business. .private lives. …choices. ..mistakes..etc. …did she assume they were smoking pot cause it was late and they were teenagers or was she spying looking to cause trouble and take away what others enjoy as fun. ..why would this mean leave a paper with his finger prints under the windshield with a “swear word” and having people fired for making mistakes is not an “act” of kindness it’s an act of “bullying ” which last I believed….this was highly frowned upon. Some people need to be educated on living for themselves not living to run others lives and punish them for their choices. If she wanted to catch so called criminals and innocent mistakes. ..go to university/college, get a degree. ..become a police officer. ..until then. ..mind your business. .it’s not your job. …stop BULLYING!

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  6. She is a BITCH and should be dealt with in a BACK ALLY…

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