Moncton — The Snowbirds, the military aerobatics team, continued its tour across the country this week, flying over Charlottetown, P.E.I., and Moncton, N.B. on Wednesday. While the majority of the population spent the morning excitedly looking up at the skies, one Moncton man was not so enthusiastic about the display.
“My brand-new car!” Louis Chiasson told The Manatee over FaceTime. “I just got it off the lot two friggin’ months ago! I barely get the chance to drive the damn thing, and it’s covered in Snowbird shit!”
He took his phone out into his backyard to show that the 2019 Toyota Avalon, was, in fact, covered in some form of feces.
“Here I am, minding my own goddamn business, reading the funnies, then ‘plop’ — 10 gallons of scat falls from the sky, and my car has a new paint job.”
While The Manatee did contact the Royal Canadian Air Force to confirm the story, the organization responded that “any reports pertaining to emergency sewage dumps are to remain confidential as a matter of national security.”
It is expected that the Snowbirds will continue touring across the country throughout the coming weeks, and are anticipated to make their way over the province again. The Manatee asked Chiasson if he had any plans to protect his vehicle from another excretal air raid.
“I’ll tell you what I’m going to do,” he said, taking a Winchester hunting rifle from its wall-mount. “I’m going bird hunting…I don’t have a licence — but I’ll take the fine.”