NB seniors no longer allowed to drive before 9 a.m., between 3 and 5 p.m.

NB seniors no longer allowed to drive before 9 a.m., between 3 and 5 p.m.

Fredericton — A new law in New Brunswick prevents people aged 65 or older from operating a motor vehicle in the province on weekdays between the hours of 6 and 9 a.m., and 3 and 5 p.m.

The law was created due to the large number of government workers who are late for work every day and take even longer to get home in the evening. Premier Blaine Higgs announced the change at the legislature Monday morning.

“After all the terrible commutes due to weather over the past few weeks, our eyes have been opened to just how bad traffic and drivers are in New Brunswick, especially in the cities,” said Higgs to a group of reporters who had all shown up to the press release at least 10 minutes late.

“Since seniors seem to be the ones who consistently drive too slow, we’ve decided to not allow them to drive during key rush-hour times. This will prevent tardiness, road rage and traffic accidents. I enjoyed my last few days of driving myself around whenever I wanted, but I can acknowledge that the time has come to get off the roads, for the good of all New Brunswickers,” said Higgs, who turned 65 on March 1.

“It’s especially bad the day after a storm, somehow even worse than the day of a storm,” said Fredericton resident Tammy Clowater.

“It’s like, the roads are all plowed now, the storm is over…Why do you need to drive like a 90-year-old today? During the storm, sure, drive slow if you have to, but that’s it — doesn’t need to be slow every single morning!”

According to Higgs, studies show that seniors are the least likely to obey the rules of the road and pay attention to other drivers, because they feel they’ve had to follow the rules their whole lives and think that it’s time others accommodate them for once.

“You’re goddamn right I’ll drive however I please! If I decide to stop in the middle of the road to see what house number I’m going by, you can just wait a few seconds and be thankful I fought in the war to give you the right to drive at all!” said Percy Wallace, 91.

“You think this new ‘law’ will stop me from driving down to the Legion first thing every morning? You’ll have to pry the steering wheel out of my cold, dead hands — which will be 50 years from now! I’ll outlive you all!”

  1. This has to be fake news!

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  2. Wilbourne McDonald buddy March 4, 2019, 2:51 pm

    What about all the elderly that has to go to work because we don’t get enough pension from our foolish government talk about freedoms we have none

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  3. What a joke this is. Discrimination at its best and all because govt workers are late getting to work and late getting home,the seniors u are discriminating against are the same people that for years travelled these rds every day to go to work and provide for their families and their province as a whole,I think it is time we began to treat our elderly with the dignity and respect they so deserve. Law makers should hang their head and be ashamed of themselves

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    • WTF! Government employees don’t work when they do get to work. Can’t see any measurable loss here….BTW, these are words of cranky old (76 candles on the last B’Cake) Dude who’s been dodging the retards of the road for 6 decades!!

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  4. What happens if some of these seniors are still working? We all can’t stop working because we turn 65.

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  5. This had better be a joke or Blaine Higgs is going to have a lot of very angry senior citizens on his doorstep.

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  6. Too funny. People really believe your ” news ” ???

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  7. Typical government workers late for work.It dam well is not the seniors fault.

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  8. https://themanatee.net/nb-schools-teaching-cursive-for-fancy-illiteracy/

    Also, this is a satirical website :), so not “fake news/propaganda/lies” but comedy.

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  9. Jeez, I’m truly amazed at how gullible some people are. It’s an effing joke morons.

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  10. Shirley Robinson March 6, 2019, 12:05 pm

    If this law was to ever come to pass, how would all the grandchildren get to their different sport and group involvements during their parents workdays…lol.

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  11. Discrimination based on age.

    maybe young people 16 to 25 should also be banned during certain hours.
    the young people speed, talk on cell phones, drive after having drank.

    What about the seniors who still work?

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  12. Lillian Nichol Carrier March 7, 2019, 10:36 am

    Hey who ever brought this to the forefront does not realize that 65 year olds have RIGHTS also !…Some even still work & need to be on the roads at that time as well REMEMBER these 65 plus aged people pay their dues to be on the roads when ever they need to be, that is why they pay for a licences & Insurance ! to be free time drivers…. what’s next ?…..not only 65 plus year olds drive slow , vacationers who do not know the roads also go SLOW .. ….I would rather be 5 minutes plus caught in traffic then flowing with those FAST and furious drivers..This is crazy ….

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  13. Gisele Beaulieu March 7, 2019, 3:19 pm

    Opening up quite a can of worms here….. No more senior volunteers, no more meals on wheels, kids to activities, attenting activities they love, paying insurance but not allowed to drive certain hours….????? , What about freedom , …… after paying taxes all our lives……. and I could go on and on

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  14. A good first step. I was in Fredericton yesterday and the women drivers from hell where out in full force. Time to get them off the road too!

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  15. Satire people satire, check the disclaimer at the bottom of the page

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  16. What a bunch of angry gullible people!? If you believe this is real, you probably ACTUALLY should give up driving…..

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  17. This is what happens when you have idiots running your province
    I just moved here and things like this will definitely get me thinking

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  18. C est qui la gagne b esclave qui vote des loie de marde de même

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  19. Why am I not surprised that there are this many New Brunswickers that fail to pick up on blatant satire

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