Bathurst man vows to prosecute trespassing trick-or-treaters

Bathurst — Halloween is normally a time of year when we welcome little costumed strangers to our doorsteps. One Bathurst man, however, has had enough of this October tradition.

“I don’t see why October 31st is any different from any other day of the year,” said Walter Joseph Theriault. “I worked hard all my life for a little peace and quiet, only to have these jeezly little buggers on the doorbell all damn night.”

The 76-year-old, who has asked that his address be withheld, has lived in Bathurst for 71 years. His father, Joseph Walter Theriault, was laid off during the great Saint John molasses shortage of 1943, and that year moved his young family to Bathurst. Theriault followed in his father’s footsteps and built a life for himself in the Bathurst sugar industry.

“The fact of the matter is, I spent my whole damn life working with sugar. I don’t need no more of it. I don’t want no more of it. I’m not filling my g—damn house with candy just so these *redacted* little farts can stuff their faces.”

Theriault, who walks with a cane since tripping over an improperly packed sugar bag, is taking a high-tech route in order to make sure that no trick-or-treater escapes his notice.

“I’ve got a little camera set up outside the door there, about 3 foot off the ground,” explained Theriault. “It snaps a picture if one of those jeezly kids so much as steps on the porch.”

Theriault says he will bring these photos to the Bathurst police, in hopes that the children will be identified and they or their parents fined. The Manatee spoke to the police, who declined to comment on the matter except to say that Theriault’s concerns are known to them, but that prosecuting children for trespassing on Halloween is not a department priority.

“Not a friggin’ priority? That just goes to show what we’re getting for our tax money. A do-nothing police force that won’t stop hooligans from trampling all over private property,” responded Theriault when told about the police position. “It’s a g–damn shame. I’ll tell ya, if Mr. Louis St. Laurent was still prime minister he’d cut this bullshit in a hurry.”

Mr. Theriault’s position may be extreme to some, but it seems to be in line with evolving attitudes toward late-night trick-or-treating. The province of New Brunswick recently proposed a controversial 4:30 p.m. curfew for trick-or-treaters, with accompanying fines for parents if their children are out past the proscribed deadline.

While it remains to be seen whether similar initiatives will be put forward in other east coast provinces, there is one street in Bathurst that little ghouls and goblins may want to avoid.