Blaine Higgs encourages Nova Scotians to sneak out to New Brunswick

Blaine Higgs encourages Nova Scotians to sneak out to New Brunswick

Nova Scotia — As New Brunswick opens its borders to surrounding Atlantic provinces, some potential travellers are still wary about the impact that their travelling could have. 

Nova Scotians David and Heather Legault, for example, told The Manatee that they are holding off on their plans to visit New Brunswick until they are more confident that it is safe.

“Well, naturally, we want to go to NB,” said Heather. “We haven’t really toured the area in a few years, we’ve been planning a little camping trip for a while now.”

“We just…want to be sure that we’re doing it responsibly,” added David. “We’ve only gotten one of the vaccines so far, and we’re probably going to hold off until we’re, you know, fully vaccinated.”

Suddenly, there was sharp tapping sound behind them. 

Tink. Tink.

“Is that…is that our window?” Heather asked, shooting a perplexed glance at her husband.

“I dunno, let me go check,” he said, rising from his chair. He walked over towards the window, stopped, gave a double-take, then opened it. “Premier Higgs?” David asked, as his wife approached from behind. “What are you doing?!”

Higgs, standing behind their trellis, let the pebbles he was holding fall the ground. He cupped his hand to his mouth and whispered loudly. “Hey guys — come on, we’re having a party in New Brunswick,” he said. “You’re not going to want to miss this.”

David gave an uneasy look to his wife. “I don’t know, Mr. Higgs…our premier says we’re not allowed to go out yet,” he said, anxiously rubbing the back of his neck. 

At this, Higgs blew a raspberry and kicked over a plotted plant. “That’s bullshit,” he said. “COVID is, like, basically over anyway. Besides, he didn’t say you couldn’t go with me, did he?”

“Actually, he did,” said Heather. “Like, he mentioned you specifically.”

“OH MY GOD,” said Higgs, rolling his eyes dramatically. “You guys are soooo lame. It’s going to be sweet. We’re heading down to the Hopewell Rocks to get fucked up and take pics for Instagram. It’s going to be lit.” 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Premier,” David said definitively, placing an arm around Heather.

Higgs shook his head, climbed onto his bicycle and lit up a cigarette.

“Whatever,” he cried, as he peddled away from them. “PEI is way cooler than you guys anyway!”

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